Anyone else?

[transatlantic]

I just told a bunch of friends about my pregnancy and their reactions were unexpected..
I've had lectures on not being able to give my baby what it needs, having no father... being a bad mum.. not being able to afford to feed it.. all kinds of things like that.. anyone else experienced this?

I cant help but want to cry These people are supposed to be my friends. SHouldnt they be helping instead of critisizing?

 

[Londoner Claire]

True friends will support you. Sorry you're going through this. I admire you for choosing to keep your baby rather than kill it. I hope they come around and are there for you in the end. At least you have the most important person to help, your mum.

 

[transatlantic]

thank you
it just kinda hurts that I thought these people were friends y'know?
*sigh* nevermind

 

[Londoner Claire]

Yeah I know. I was 25 when I had my son, had my own place and the father around and I couldn't handle it, he was planned as well. The fathers sister had one at 15, one at 16 and coped really well. Age has nothing to do with it. I felt totally ready, had everything I needed but damn when he was born I was in a right state.

 

[Gaby]

Sorry to hear they're reacting like that when your mum reacted so well I'm sure once you get a noticable bump they'll be nicer

 

[Londoner Claire]

Yeah all be wanting a feel.

 

[transatlantic]

heh yeah.. Im sure they'll be nicer when they've got a lovely little baby to look at too

I think its probably best if I just let them get on with it and ignore them but.. yeah, it just makes me angry

 

[Alfiesmummy]

I had mixed reactions, some people were really funny and asked was i going to cope? some were really excited, those who were excited are still good friends now and are crazy about Alfie, i dont see the ones who were unsupportive, and if i ever do see those people theyll see im a good mum, and it is partly down to them, because them thinking i cant do it made me even more determined to try as hard as i could and when times do get tough and i think its too hard, i think of them and i look at my little boy and realise they were wrong and i can do it and i do it because i love him.

you are going to be a great mum hun dont listen to them,

 

[transatlantic]

Thanks
Yeah, I think the people who dont think I'll cope are the people who will help me cope the most because I'll what to show them that I can do it!

 

[phillylou]

some of my friends said the same thing but true friends wont be bothered babe and they will stick by and help you

 

[TipsyDipsy]

Perhaps they were just concerned about you and voicing those concerns.
I'm sorry to say everybody will think it if you don't have a partner or a job or a home of your own.
Just most people are wise enough not to voice it.
Its something you learn as you get older (and some still don't), don't voice the obvious if its not going to help and just offer what is going to help which is support.
You will need your friends around you at this time especially so be a little forgiving this one time and put it down to it being a shock to them and not think before they spoke. I'm sure most will be there for you in the long run regardless of their initial reactions.

 

[neeko_1]

Thanks
Yeah, I think the people who don't think I'll cope are the people who will help me cope the most because I'll what to show them that I can do it!

hi congrats and welcome the the forum... if you don't mind how old are you?

i'm 19, 20 when i give birth and i've told everyone in my family expect my dad all my friends are happy and can't wait to see they new family member.. my mum was NOT happy a tall because i was pregnant twice before and had a miscarriage in the very early stages of pregnancies...(where not planned)

so i didn't tell her but she found out anyway.. and i didn't tell anyone till my 12 week scan.. but i'm glad everyone know nows and i'm happy that i can get on with it..

i'm not trying to ask for help i'm still with my hubby and we are getting are place soon..

YES it will be hard but this is all about life and i'm ready for it and can't wait till the 12th of due which is when my beautiful baby is bron


don't listen to anyone who is putting you down... you'll Be fine..

 

[transatlantic]

^^

Thanks I'm 17.

 

[neeko_1]

i know to of my girls who have had kids the same aga as you and they are happy and coping fine by then self... #

one single and one still with they partner..

are you with your babies daddy? are you going to college or working?

 

[transatlantic]

Im not with the father, no.

I'm at college right now. Planning on leaving after this year and getting a job.

 

[neeko_1]

go for it... when do you finish college?

but there is nothing stopping you...

 

[transatlantic]

I'll be finished with college in june/july

 

[neeko_1]

ah june thats when my baby will be bron hehe

yeh as i said before you'll be fine.... i get scared sometimes and think oh my god... but think yesssss i'm entering a new chapter in my life and bring it on..

when did you find out that you're expecting hun?

 

[transatlantic]

Hehe
I found out last week!
Hopefully going to get it confirmed at the doctors on wednesday!

 

[neeko_1]

last week wow.. what a lovely x-mas present hehe.....
ah i remember finding out wow that feels long time ago now..
but when i went to the doctors he never gave me a pregnancy test he said i trust my patients lol

do you know what to expect hun?