Anyone else feel unsupported ?

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by Harriet_louise, Jul 1, 2013.

  1. Harriet_louise

    Harriet_louise Active Member

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    Since being pregnant I have been quite hormonal and OH has had the brunt of that. But now I'm starting to level out after hitting 12 weeks and feeling much better although now I just feel iv pushed him so far away I can't bring him back. I feel really unsupported by him at the mo but don't want to moan else it's seen as nagging. Since falling pregnant or should of Been one of the happiest times but in fact no sex life and constant arguing has defiantly taken its toll. We have the 12 wk scan tomorrow so hoping it will remind us why we are doing this and that this baby is made from our love for each other. Just feeling like every other couple having a baby is perfect an we nearly fell apart... Anyone else feel the strain?!
     
  2. MrsTopher

    MrsTopher Well-Known Member

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    You're most certainly not alone and no-one going through pregnancy has it perfect hun! It sometimes seems it as an outsider looking in but that's because no-one else sees behind closed doors! I've been very emotional and agitated with my OH and he'd bearing the brunt of everything (not helped that the house is getting fully redecorated so looks like a bomb site, stressful enough!) but it will get easier and once you've seen that scan it will flood back to you both why you're doing it. I think its hard for men to cope with the moods as its not something they can 'fix'. My OH just started ignoring my rants and replying along the 'yes dear' lines. I just apologise now and then for biting his head off. Not too muc thou! ;) I'm sure you won't have pushed him away hun and he'll soon realise things are starting to settle with tri2! Good luck an tver no-one is perfect so don't try and compare your relationship, everyone's is individual an special. Xxxx
     
  3. Harriet_louise

    Harriet_louise Active Member

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    Thank you , makes me feel loads better :) xx
     
  4. merlin

    merlin Well-Known Member

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    Me and my dh had a spell a few weeks ago. We are normally so close and talk about everything but I did push him away, I was being a right cow!
    I started worrying that he didn't want this pregnancy deep down and was fearful I had pushed him into it because he was being so distant. He wouldn't come near me in bed or any other time and wouldn't talk about the pregnancy.
    Eventually I broke down, was a complete blubbering mess and the following morning I sat down and talked about it! It was all my doing, poor dh was having irrational thoughts too, like he reckoned now I was pregnant I didn't need him anymore. He didn't want to talk about bubs because until he had seen little one at the scan he
    didn't want to get excited, and he didn't want to touch me because he knew how sore I was and was frightened of hurting me.
    After having that chat we were back to normal, and now we have had our scan he is happy to talk about his baby! All will be fine lovely, it is a stressful time of change and worry and we are bound to have our moments.

    Sent from my Nexus 7
     
  5. Jess.

    Jess. Well-Known Member

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    Maybe it's just a man thing, mine is lovely but he just doesn't think to ask how I'm feeling all the time and saying little things like let me carry that bag. Just tell them.
    I thought it was just me that had no sex drive feel really mean :( x
     
  6. Holly1991

    Holly1991 Well-Known Member

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    I don't feel unsupported but didn't want to read and run!
    I'm sure things will get better when you see baby again :)
    My OH is brilliant I can't complain.. I get massages from him cause my hypermobility,
    He helps round the house, cooks with me, does the shopping (I'm off sick ATM) , looks after me , carries stuff tells me off if I pick something up that he thinks is too heavy. Runs spontaneous baths.

    I have no sex drive but sorry (TMI) I give him a helping hand ;) lol.. Cause he does so much for me and I feel he deserves a little treat :) hahah sorry again I am vile I know x
     
    #6 Holly1991, Jul 2, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2013
  7. MrsTopher

    MrsTopher Well-Known Member

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    Lol. This really made me chuckle holly!! I'm slowly getting mine back but its Sod's law as he's working away now!! Think its some cosmic punishment. Haha. Xx
     
  8. H16

    H16 Well-Known Member

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    Me and OH had a dodgy few weeks at the beginning too, ours was due to money worries and the fact we had not long got over a miscarriage and this pregnancy was not planned.

    Took us a few weeks of talking things out but OH is very happy and excited about bubs now and he was awestruck at the scans, was very cute :)

    I think it is such a big change in the relationship that many couples will have a wobbly patch and personally I am fully prepared for another wobbly patch to arise during the first few weeks after bubs is born as we will be sleep deprived, skint and cranky lol x
     
    #8 H16, Jul 2, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2013
  9. Harriet_louise

    Harriet_louise Active Member

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    Thanks ladies... Had the scan this morning and it definatly felt more like 'us' again. Im sure there will be loads of up and downs ... But seeing the little one made us both well up :) exited now. Haha I like the 'helping hand' comment :) x
     

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