Anxious about being a mother

[Jodistewart]

Hi everyone, I am a 24 year old woman and I got married last year to the love of my life. My husband is 17 years older than me and has been begging to have a baby since we got married however I thought i was too young and thought I should wait a few years but my husband kept saying that he wanted kid before he was "too old" I finally gave in and we started trying a few months ago. I just found out that I am pregnant with TWINS!!!! I haven't told my husband yet. I feel like I made a mistake. I am not ready!!! The worst part is that my husband has to travel overseas often for his job for weeks. I will be all alone in this pregnancy... I am not ready to be a mother..

 

[chattychar1990]

I’m going to put it bluntly but be as nice as I can.
You knew you was marrying an older guy and you probably knew this situation was going to happen. I don’t blame your husband for wanting children but you both should have sat down and spoke about what you both wanted.
Having sex without contraception is obviously going to lead with one thing so you should have used something if you didn’t want to become a mother yet.
How far along are you? You need to tell your husband that you are pregnant, you must have kept this from him for a few weeks if you already know your having twins. He deserves to know as much as you.
Do you have family that you are close to that you can to about the way you are feeling? The midwife? X

 

[night owl]

I think what’s done is done now so the best thing to do going forward is to get as much support as you can for dealing with your feelings and help with when the babies are here, speak to your health visitor when you get assigned one about what support is going to be available for you, really though you and your husband should have had the conversation about babies before you even got married, you could have been honest and said babies are absolutely not on the table for a long time yet and let your husband decide what he wanted to do. It is very hard work even with one baby but you will 100% fall in love with the babies once they are here though

 

[WinterWolf]

Most women get that rush of fear at first. It will pass. Talk to your husband about how you're feeling and why. You don't have a choice but to get over it, and you will x

 

[Jodistewart]

I think what’s done is done now so the best thing to do going forward is to get as much support as you can for dealing with your feelings and help with when the babies are here, speak to your health visitor when you get assigned one about what support is going to be available for you, really though you and your husband should have had the conversation about babies before you even got married, you could have been honest and said babies are absolutely not on the table for a long time yet and let your husband decide what he wanted to do. It is very hard work even with one baby but you will 100% fall in love with the babies once they are here though

Thank you. I guess I should start looking at the positive side of things.