Antenatel class - what is peoples problem?

Just got back form my first antenatel class and I have sat in tears and need a moan. As I thought all the other expectant mums were a lot older than me (by a long shot!) and all were looking at me funny all night. I felt like a little fish on a big hook just being stared at. It was horrible.

And I come home to try and make a cup of tea and the water or something tastes funny and set me off crying again.

Oh bloody hell ............ I'm in such a pants mood

 

[MummySian]

Oh Sami Im sorry to hear that

You have as much right to be there as anyone else and im shocked the other mums to be are like that, at least you and oh are going to find out more and ask questions.

Please dont let it put you off as i found they are very valuable first time around and hope tomorrow is better for you, you have me on MSN if you fancy a chat now.

(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

Sian xx

 

[MummySian]

Oh Sami Im sorry to hear that

You have as much right to be there as anyone else and im shocked the other mums to be are like that, at least you and oh are going to find out more and ask questions.

Please dont let it put you off as i found they are very valuable first time around and hope tomorrow is better for you, you have me on MSN if you fancy a chat now.

(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

Sian xx

 

[emma1976]

Probably jealous honey that's all. Some women are like that when they see a younger more attractive pregnant woman and they are spilling all over the place. Take no notice. Probably the "I feel threatened" hormones kicking in for all of them.

At least you are attending antenatal and looking after your pregnancy, that's all they should be thinking!

Em xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Rosieroo]

Probably jealous honey that's all. Some women are like that when they see a younger more attractive pregnant woman and they are spilling all over the place. Take no notice. Probably the "I feel threatened" hormones kicking in for all of them.

At least you are attending antenatal and looking after your pregnancy, that's all they should be thinking!

Echoing exactly what Emma said. Ignore the silly moos, at least you are there!

Sending big hugs to you and bump

 

[Ragna]

Sami

Sorry to hear you came back feeling like that. What a horrible lot if thats the case, and I bet like the others said they were jealous.

Hope you are feeling better this morning. )

<<<<<got insomnia again hence here since 5.30am.

Ragna xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Kim]

Oh my God I can't believe that, I thought there would be loads of younger mums there? Try not to give up, you need the info they provide and have as much right to it as anyone. x

 

[*saulino*]

Hello

I know how you feel last wed was my first class and i was the youngest there as well, we had to talk to the people next to us to see what we have in common and she asked how old i was and when i said 19 she replyed oh and then gave me a nasty look and didnt talk with me the rest iof the time. You would think they would grow up since there older then us. But im sure it will get better for the both of us since were going through the same thing, maybe once they get to know us a little/??
In the mean time we should try and not worry about the other girls and focus and us and the babies.
Take crae Katrina

 

[Urchin]

Sami try not to get too upset, I was one of the youngest in mine last time around. I looked at them all and they were all made up, and had on smart, expensive looking clothes.

I found out later that this was because they were all on their way to work after the class.
I felt like I didn;t fit in at all and it was very awkward. By the end of the course we were all mates, and I'm still in touch with about 10 of them, almost 5 years later.

Don't despair, even if they do look at you funny, that's their problem, let them deal with it by proving how mature you are and what a great mom your going to be!

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

I must say that when I went to my first ante-natal class, seems like ages ago now, there were loads of women all my age (between 28-32) and that was that.

I was shocked as I was expecting to meet a whole variety of people from different ages from 16-45 and was very surprised to see everyone looked like my age.

One of my close friends had a baby at your age and she often moans about the fact that she was made to feel an outsider at her ante-natal class, and I was really upset for her, so I was all geared up to see younger mums, older mums, single mums etc etc etc, and didn't see any and I thought it was sad that there wasn't more balance to the class.

I really feel for you babe and wish I had been there to sort them out!

 

I've calmed down a bit now lol.

It's my fault for living where we do - Olney - where ALL the mums are 30+ and are married, have good career's, a mortgage and nice cars, etc. I have got no problem with people who do live that life or are older than me - my best friend is 30 in 2 weeks.
Me and OH aren't the 'norm' for where we live and I think it bugs them. They were looking at us like we were ruining their group! No one listened to what we had to say and shunned my OH when he mentioned what he would like to get out of the classes.
We were supposed to write out names and addresses down at the end of the class but no-one did. Don't think any of them are remotely like me and OH at all so I don't think I'll bother trying to keep in touch with them.
Just gonna get the classes over and done with - learn what we need to and hopefully not have to see these stuck up idiots again.
I may only be 19 but it doesn't mean I'm not capable of being a good mother and that being pregnant is a bad thing.

Okie....maybe I haven't calmed down as much as I thought!!

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

Chill out babe

We all love you. People who are stuck up their own arses like that aren't worth knowing!

Too much money and absolutely no sense by the sounds of it!!

 

[Ragna]

Sami

I honestly am not suprised that you are so mad. How dare they treat you like that. Well all I can say is I might be 41 but I am dying to meet you in the very near future and you might be nearer in age than my daughter who is nearly 18 and now 26 weeks pregnant but hey ho who cares.

It is a shame that they had such a pathetic attitude and I do know what you mean about the area Olney. Age is irrelivant, and lets face it, it wasnt many years ago when our parents had us that they had us in their teens and early twenties. Like you say, just because you are young does not make you any less able to be a fantastic parent which I know you will be.

Ignore the miserable Devils, we all value you on here and your age has never come into it.

Mwah x
Ragna x
Grrrrrr now im mad with them, wish I could have been there, I would have said something !!!

 

Awww thanks Ragna - don't wanna be blamed for sending your BP up though do I now!! Still very much want to meet up - OH said he will drive me to where you want to meet and then wander off while we chat. I think one tiny little day out if I'm sensible will be okie. Let me know though. (Are you planning on getting anymore sleep today? You'll be shattered by 2pm!)

I'm taking that chill pill and sticking my fingers up to the bloody lot of them. We have ever right to live in Olney as OH was brought up here and I was brought up round the corner. So bugger them!!

 

[petchy]

don't take any notice of them sami, some people can't handle people that don't follow society's "acceptable pattern" (ie: education, careeer, living with partner, get mortgage, MARRIAGE, more career, then finally you are "allowed" to have babies!)

OH and i get a lot of "but now that you're pregnant aren't you going to get married???" - short answer to that is NO, i have told OH not to propose until at least 2010, as i am nowhere near wanting to get married yet, if i ever will be. perfectly happy the way we are thanks, and if people have a problem with that then they can sod off!! lol

to my mind, at 19 you seem a lot more mature than many older people i see posting on the different forums. age is just a number, and i have wondered many a time if they perhaps put the wrong year on my birth certificate!! maybe it should have been 1975 instead of 1980 - as i have always been very "mature" for my age! by 19 i was already bored with the clubbing scene and would look for every possible excuse not to go on the piss - whereas some of my mates who are in their mid/late 20s now still haven't got to that stage.

god, i'm ranting on a bit aren't i?! sorry! moral of the story: only you know what is right for you at any given stage - and everyone else can mind their own business! you'll be a great mum!!

 

Thank you Petchy. I have always been told since I was younger that I was 'mature' for my age - maybe I should have been born a good 5 years before aswell!

OH and i get a lot of "but now that you're pregnant aren't you going to get married???" - short answer to that is NO, i have told OH not to propose until at least 2010, as i am nowhere near wanting to get married yet, if i ever will be. perfectly happy the way we are thanks, and if people have a problem with that then they can sod off!! lol

We get this too and I have exactly the same reply - we're happy as we are thank you! Why should we have to just to have a baby?

Feeling much better about it now - it's just a shame some people are so damn narrow-minded.

 

[Jessika]

Hi Sami,

Just though i would let you know i am going through much the same as you at the moment! Firstly me and OH are not married (i am 22 he is 24) now we are having a baby peoples natural question is when are we getting married. I am bored of explaning that if we wanted to get married we would have done it ages ago and see no point in getting married just for the sake of it - it's not going to make us love our baby any more is it???!!!
Secondly, went for our hospital tour on Mon night - there were about 10 couples in all (thank god i took OH) and i was the youngest BY FAR..i was getting very weird looks untill the midwife noticed and then directed the rest of the tour soley at me and OH completley ignoring all the other couples ha ha serves them right!!

So, really just wanted to say - know how you feel ((hugs))

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Tiny Sue]

Well honey,

I'm 32, and having my first baby. I am expecting people to look at ME funny when I go to my first antenatal class on December 15th! It was my decision to wait until now! However, if you would believe it, a 32 year old primipara is considered ELDERLY!!!! I ask you! *breaks out zimmer frame*
I have a sister your age, who is her own woman, and I have no doubt as to whether she will decide when her time is too! But I hope she doesn't wait too long. I think that your body and mind are a lot better prepared for the changes of pregnancy and parenthood than mine are - I'm set in my ways now!
I think that the others might have looked at you in that way because they were thinking...gosh...she is very brave, to go through this so young, I feel so uncertain and unsure, and would never have been able to do what she is doing at 19. It's true that some of them probably looked down their noses too, but hey, they were just showing their ignorance. What you do honey, is you hold your head up, meet their gaze, don't apologise for yourself. You have as much right to be there as anyone else and you haven't once questioned theirs. And if someone is so silly as to ignore you during the class like that old wagon did, well then you turn and ask clearly for someone else to be a partner, as yours is being a silly cow and behaving as though she has piles...probably a side effect of the poker up her ass...Sorry, moderator!

*HUG* Best of luck...

Sue

 

HAHA awww Sue you made me laugh
Move to Olney - you'd still be young at 32 having your first

 

[Tiny Sue]

Hey, it's my sense of humour....blame it on my age...hehehe....

*HUG*

Sue