Another moan. Sorry!!!

[BubbleOne]

Feel like I'm always whinging when I post

Just had another s$*t day today. OH is off and has been since midday yesterday. He put Phoebe to bed at 7pm last night. I went to bed at 9.30pm because I know Phoebe wakes up at about 6am and I need my sleep. OH wondered up to bed at 10 past midnight and woke Phoebe up. She twists in her cot and gets her arm stuck through the slats or she gets her head wedged up against the side. I got up and moved her back into the middle of her cot. OH by now is in bed. It took me until 20 past 1 to get her back to sleep by which time OH was zonked.
Whilst I was trying to get her off to sleep I realised OH had put her in her cot with no sheets She was laying on the wipe clean bit of her mattress. I had taken the sheets off that morning and forgotten all about it. He clearly couldn't manage even to put a fitted sheet on her cot!! That's why she was sliding to the edge of her cot so easily. I didn't want to get her out of her cot as I never do unless it's absolutely necessary during the night. Anyway I must have got up another 5 times between putting her back to sleep and 6am when she woke for her morning feed. I was shattered.
OH went to get her bottle (only because I clearly wasn't going!!) He came back up with it and saw my face as he gave me her bib and Infacol and realised that he'd better feed her. LOL. After her feed I sat her up on my pillows and OH went back off to sleep!! I got her dressed and brought her downstairs. She had a nap and then I fed her again. OH came wondering down at 9.30am.
Now fair enough today is his day off but he chose to sit up until gone midnight. I tried to go to bed at 9.30pm but ended up with less sleep than him.
I'm so pissed off with his attitude towards Phoebe.
He treats her like a chore. 'You can feed her this time and I'll do it next time.' For Goodness Sake I enjoy feeding my baby and I don't need a rota so that we both feed her the same amount of times each day!!!
Today he's whinging about the fact we don't seem to get anything done because of Phoebe. So what!!! She slept for 40mins earlier and he went on the internet. He could have 'got something done.'
I'm really fed up with his attitude towards her. He has other children from a previous marriage and he used to sing and dance about how much he loved being a Dad and how he enjoyed his girls. He hasn't seen his other girls for 4 years now but why is Phoebe so different? I don't feel like he enjoys her and she is his little girl too.
Sorry for being morbid. I just feel shit about it all. I know he loves Phoebe, probably more than his other girls because he is happy at home whereas before his home life was terrible. But why can't he enjoy her for all her faults?
He tried to take her to Tesco this morning in her buggy. Got about 5mins down the road and turned back because she just screams in her buggy. We then went in the car and she hates her car seat too so cried then too. By then he's so annoyed he starts getting ratty towards me and Phoebe. She's just a baby. Why can't he see that?
Sorry if this is a jumbled mess!!
Just had to get it off my chest.
He's taken Phoebe for her jabs now so we'll see how they coped on his return!!!

 

[tracyM]

They just don't get it do they!!! Apologies to any dads that do.

I've had 10 hours sleep in the last 3 days (alex has decided that 3am is a good time to be wide awake) whilst he has CHOSEN to stop up until the early hours (he reckons that because he's a DJ and works until that time at weekends, it's impossible for him to go to bed earlier), but you can guarantee he'll always come to bed just before the middle of the night feed so I have to get up. Yesterday he told me it was alright for me because I could sleep instead of working during the 4 hours he has him - he'll be the first to complain when there's no money in the bank.

Is he remembering the time with his girls with rose tinted glasses? Stuart has a habit of telling people how much he did with our older ones but didn't even change charlottes nappies - most of the time I laugh it off, but I'm so tired I can feel a huge row about to erupt

Tracy xx

 

[BubbleOne]

Yes Tracy I think he is remembering just the good times with his other girls when all was fine and dandy. Also his relationship was terrible so I guess all his time and love went to his children whereas with me, I want some of his time too!!
I just don't appreciate him basically saying that his girls were angels but my little girl isnt.

 

[beanie]

I just don't appreciate him basically saying that his girls were angels but my little girl isnt.

Don't blame you. My OH tended to treat looking after Seren when she was little like a chore but I explained to him how I felt and now he is getting much better. I think a big part of it was that he was not confident in his own abilities, if Seren cried for more than 5 mins it frightened him and he felt like he was doing wrong. He has just had a bath with her and was a bit clumsy at first which made her scream but I encouraged him to stay in the bath and talk to her and they were both splashing about having lots of fun. I have been in Tescos with a screaming baby and it really scared me and I'm with her all the time, maybe he felt like he couldn't cope by himself?? And the suggestion of feeding her next time might have been his way of trying to say he would help out?? I know my OH words things badly sometimes, like he said I was going over the top about worrying about Seren's weight, what he meant to say was that I should wait to see how she goes but he's not too good at phrasing things. I know this might sound like hI am sticking up for your OH and I'm not, I would hate it too ifI felt that my OH was not cring for our baby like he should. I just think it can take men a bit longer to get their confidence, ad to get used to the baby, I know that my OH did and is still doing. Hope you sort it out hun, am sending you lots of hugs xxxx

 

How are things hun? Was your weekend any better? xx

 

[BubbleOne]

Hi Guys,

Things arn't that bad!! I just get to a point sometimes where I am tired and I feel like he isn't doing enough to help me. He does what he wants to do with Phoebe and I HAVE to do the rest. But on a positive note he does put her to bed every night and he is a really good Dad. I just don't want her compared to his other children. Especially not when I know for a fact none of them are angels. He used to tell me how good they all were and then one day his eldest rang and was in a right mess (drugs, boyfriend trouble) Her mum had kicked her out. She came to live with us and a month later she told us she was pregnant!! Some angel She's on the right track now though.

Sami - My weekend was good OH was at work
My Mum, Nan and Sis came up Sat and my sis came up Sun too.
Things are fine now. I am happy just get pissed off sometimes!!!
OH has been off today so have got a few bits done around the house which makes me feel better. And he's going Football Coaching tonight so I can have a night watching what I want to watch!!

How are you? Let me know when you are free this week. Will see if Cara wants to come round too. (Doubt it though!!!)

P.S Is your hairdresser nice?! Hate ringing strangers!!

 

LOL yeah she is lovely
Did you get my text? xx

 

[BubbleOne]

Got one with her name and number? Haven't got anymore. Will go and check though

 

can make it thursday but Damo will have his tubes in...or can come over Friday after we've had the tubes taken out again?