And it starts... (ranting)

[CountryGirl]

So my sisters did "warn" me that as soon as you announce you're pregnant, every body will want to give you advice and tips and tell you what you should and shouldn't do.

So we've only told close family and a few close friends (plus a few work colleagues) and already I'm getting people telling me what I shouldn't eat, what I shouldn't wear, what things to avoid and yesterday one woman even told me I can't sit with my leg crossed over my other leg!!!

Where does it stop? This is my first and I'm already a bit nervous that I have no idea what I'm doing, but hearing so many things from people is stressing me out a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I am not living in some fairy land where I think it's all going to be a joy ride, I know it's going to be really tough when the baby comes and even during pregnancy some times, but when people are saying "no, it's going to be hell." I wanna smack them in the mouth. I know it's not going to be easy, but hubby and I have made this decision and we are so excited to have children.

I've got a midwife friend who is very helpful and she's given me a few books to read etc, but I'm starting to lose my patience with people (and I'll probably end up snapping at someone who really is only trying to help).

Any suggestions ladies? Especially those who already have children... how did you manage with your first?

Grrr. I wish sometimes people would just keep their comments to themselves.

End of rant. Apologies. Thank the Lord it's Friday!!!

 

[Msclaireypants]

I was exactly the same as you, felt like I should just sit wrapped in cotton wool and not move for 9 months!

Just smile grit your teeth and thank them while thinking all sorts of profanitys!


Spencer David Wilcockson 28/2/2013 6lbs 3.5ozs

 

[Chezza]

Unfortunately, this "helpful advice" will continue for the remainder of your pregnancy, so now is the time to practice nodding and smiling sweetly...!

You may be given some really helpful tips, but every baby is different, so its more a case of trusting your instinct - and it's strong as soon as your little one arrives.

Just try and enjoy your pregnancy as it goes so fast - and try not to sweat the small stuff xxx

 

[ScotchEgg]

I've mostly had this at work so far and have made it very clear that I am not public property by telling people that I'm happy to talk about things in break times but at work I'm working and my pregnancy is personal. Then I've avoided people a lot whilst making tea.

That's both worked well and been respected.

Otherwise I've responded to everything saying there's evidence both ways for most things and that I'm following advice from nhs and nothing else

 

[kittyrooroo]

IT WILL NEVER STOP!! It gets worse when baby is here. Seriously! Older people especially always have their opinion to give you. And to be honest, I don't think I've taken any of the advice I've ever been given regarding my baby!
When you're pregnant it's " oh you're not breast feeding? You really should, it's better for the baby" and "you're finding out the sex? You should have it as a surprise!"
Now it's "he's hungry!" No he's not. "He's filling his nappy!" No he's not.
People who have already have children automatically assume they know your child better than you do. It's so annoying!

 

[Pippa1703]

Oh and just you wait for all the people who are quick to say "just you wait!"

 

[Chezza]

Unfortunately it does carry on when LO has arrived. It really gets on my nerves, to the point I have to grit my teeth, when people (who have met JJ once or twice), think they know my son better than I do.

For instance, asking me if they can cuddle him...then JJ crying a lot when they pick him up, for said person to start winding him, accusing me of not doing it properly...when he hasn't even eaten recently! I just wanted to say "actually, he is crying because of YOU!!!" And breathe...lol...! xx

 

[kittyrooroo]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23056843


My OH put this on my Facebook just as I was replying on here!

Old people loved to diagnose my baby when he was a newborn. He'd be crying because he's been passed between a million family members in the past hour, I'm trying to prise him out of the arms of some great aunty so he can have some quiet time and I get "he's hungry, he's tired, he's got wind, he wants changing, he's got pains"
Actually, he just wants to be LEFT ALONE!

 

[Chezza]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23056843


My OH put this on my Facebook just as I was replying on here!

Old people loved to diagnose my baby when he was a newborn. He'd be crying because he's been passed between a million family members in the past hour, I'm trying to prise him out of the arms of some great aunty so he can have some quiet time and I get "he's hungry, he's tired, he's got wind, he wants changing, he's got pains"
Actually, he just wants to be LEFT ALONE!

Loving that link!!!! So true xx

 

[Kelly450]

Tell me about it. I've had nothing but comments about how to bring up my child and what to put them in to sleep and what i should buy lots of etc!

Some people say ' dont buy soothers' and others say 'yeh theres nothing wrong with soothers'
some say 'buy lots of muslim squares' and others say 'you dont need muslim squares..'

And i always think that just because that's what they did in THEIR pregnancy and with THEIR child, doesn't mean i will do the same and it annoys the hell out of me!

I always said 'yh, but once he is here, that could all change and ill do what i feel is right' and i always said it in a tone that they knew meant i didn't really want their opinion. If i want advice, ill ask!

As for what you should and shouldn't eat - ignore them! Do what the hell you like xxx

 

[Linzie2012]

I got one girl in work thats negative to everything pregnancy, she has her own child who she had when she was 17.

She pisses me off but I try not to show it to her, one of the boys who had been on Annual Leave for 2 weeks commented on my growing bump & its looking well, she was in the back grown, "Thats not a bump its wind!" People can see what shes like, we just ignore her.

 

[Rachel80]

I am really grateful for people's advice, it's my first & I know nothing! But what really pisses me off is that people keep telling me how hard it's going to be when he's born....'oh you won't get any sleep' 'it'll take you hours to get out the house' 'you'll be lucky if you have time to get dressed' 'expect your house to be a pigsty'......blah blah blah! What about how wonderful it's going to be? How much fun? I'm a v organised person, I've dealt with alot of stressful & difficult situations in my life & I cope just fine thanks. There is no way a baby is going to turn our lives upside down, I'm fully prepared & can't wait! So many people seem to be so quick to moan about their children & parenthood, it gets on my tits!x

 

[Kay Kay]

Unfortunately it only stops when you put your foot down and you are very clear that you don't want their advice.

I've had it mainly with work ppl I had one woman shout at me in the kitchen saying I shouldn't eat pineapple as it brings on premature labour! In front of everyone! I was about 20wks at the time and livid! I just said well the only ppl I listen to are my midwife and the nhs guidelines on what I can and can't eat. And pineapple is perfectly fine. And carried on munching away! She still went on and on but I ignored her! Much to the amusement of my friends who were there. It's happened loads of times since then, you can't eat this, you should avoid that, it drives you crazy so you need to try and tune it out. Easier said than done.

You're the mummy of your baby, not anyone else so don't let anyone else confuse you just follow nhs guidelines and trust your own instincts xxxx

 

[Clairabelle]

Just ignore them !! People are quick to give advice when you're pregnant and some will you want to take on board but most you won't. At the end of the day if you need advice you have your midwife or health visitor once baby is born or you have us lovely ladies on here I would just smile sweetly and thank them for the advice. As for telling you how hard it's going to be when baby comes, just tell them it doesn't phase you and you are actually looking forward the chaos cos it's all part of motherhood -x that should shut them up lol !! x

 

[Nomad]

I bet this thread will go on and on - everyone's got their stories of unwanted/unhelpful 'advice'!!

I've been told several times at work that if I keep on eating so much crap I'll have a huge baby....I do eat crisps and chocolate most days however I also eat a lot of fruit and veg (which funnily enough no-one ever feels the need to comment on!)...I had a growth scan last week and baby is EXACTLY the right size for my dates so it's all a load of bollocks!

 

[hayes]

I got it from the min i told people at work, you shudnt eat this or that and you have to eat this!!! One woman even told me not to drink frm a plastic bottle!! I know they are only trying to help tho.

I smile and nod. Im signed off with bad morning sickness at mo but when i was working last wk everyone had their advice for me of how to help it, and whilst i was open to trying anything that wud help sometimes when older people kept saying you have to eat more your losing weight you need to look after baby it made me feel bad. Im doing all i can i wanted to shout.

Others have said that i need to pull myself together as its only morning sickness, id like to see them work when they feel this ruff!!!!

Michelle. x

 

[CountryGirl]

Hahaha! Thanks ladies, you have all just totally made my day!!! Thankfully I'm not a shy or quiet person, so I will tell people to butt out if I want to, but I just couldn't believe it when I was told I could sit with my leg crossed over. That sort of drew the last straw for me. And when I asked "oh..why?" she said "well it can twist something". Uhh..what? Haha.

Kittyrooroo - thanks for that link! I laughed loads at lunch and have sent it to my sister who is also pregnant. So true!!
Rachel80 - that's what is annoying me the most too!! And I was talking to this woman and saying how we're not unprepared and we know its going to be a big difference and going to be really hard, but she kept turning around and saying "no Sophie, you don't know. However hard you think it will be, it will be harder" and making me sound pathetic and immature. So I just said "well we're just gonna take each day as it comes". Bog off! I want people to be honest, of course, but not negative all the time. I want to hear about how wonderful it is to hold such a tiny baby that hubby and I created and that kind of thing! Still...I suppose that's where you lot come in! So thankful for this forum and you lovely ladies.

Thanks all! Keep the storied and advice coming - am loving it! haha xxx

 

[CountryGirl]

Michelle - I don't know how you didn't knock them out! Lol. I hate it when people make comments like that! Hope you get over it soon and aren't feeling too bad xx

 

[hayes]

Just waiting for docs to phone me bak atm think i need sum better tablets. I have waited 2yrs, been through countless tests and an operation to fall pg so dont need people telling me im not doing enough for my baby!! lol.

Michelle. x

 

[CountryGirl]

Exactly!! People have no idea the journeys everyone has been on, and they just open their big mouths without thinking about it. Hope you get sorted x