am I the only one...?

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Shepherdess, Sep 4, 2016.

  1. Shepherdess

    Shepherdess Well-Known Member

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    who's toddler is really hard work?

    I love my LG, I do she's my world but she's so hard to please

    she's a terrible sleeper, she always has been, I feel like we make progress and then she gets a new tooth and we go backwards. currently she's in a cot in our room, wakes twice a night for milk (screams and screams without it) and then at 3/4 she gets in to bed with me (again goes crazy if I try and leave her in the cot). I'm exhausted

    shes also super clingy. she won't go to anyone. if I'm in the room and settled she'll entertain the idea of talking to / playing with dad but no way would she sit on his knee. if I leave the room she cries and chases after me. to make dinner the two of them sit on the kitchen floor watching me. it's awful for poor oh to. he works super hard and long days but tries with her she just won't have it

    she's barely interested in toys. she has a very short attention span. she'll play with her toy kitchen for 10mins and then it's on to the next thing, always with me I might add she won't entertain herself but mostly she just wants to play with things that aren't toys and climb around on dangerous things and throws huge tantrums when I don't let her. I'd be happy to sit with her toys, she's got loads with loads of variation but she just gets bored so quickly and wants to do something naughty like empty the kitchen bin.

    are other kids like this? I've got friends with kids the same age and it just depresses me hearing how they've slept through for ages and how they'll happily sit with this toy or that toy and even play on their own. I mean I don't expect her to play on her own much it would just be great if I could make a cuppa or shower. currently I can't shower on my own as she climbs onto the toilet and it's dangerous so I have to wait for oh to come home and the two of them sit on the bathroom floor or she's banging on the shower door

    I can't say it's a phase she's 15m but she's always been like this, always. she just seems so angry all the time and has a meltdown at anything. I don't know what I'm doing wrong

    anyone the same? or have any suggestions?
     
    #1 Shepherdess, Sep 4, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2016
  2. StephyLou

    StephyLou Well-Known Member

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    Out of interest do you attend play groups? She's at a really social age which is why she wont play by herself.

    My friends little girl had a similar problem as she was the first of are friendship group to be born and didnt have any play friends from within are circle so she was really clingy to her mum. Mum started taking her to a couple of classes a week and it seemed to make her more independant at home.
     
  3. Shepherdess

    Shepherdess Well-Known Member

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    thanks for your reply.

    I did attend one group but she will literally sit on my knee the whole time. she'll watch others and occasionally smile but that's it. now that the kids have gone back to School I'm going to try again and see if there's anything else but there's not loads in my area. I meet up with a friend once a week who has a little girl 3 weeks older and her lo is so sociable but my lo is not interested in her she just wants to sit with me. if my friends lo tries to touch her there's he'll on

    I probably sound like I'm moaning and it's "typical toddler behaviour" but it's been like this forever and I don't know anyone's children who are as bad as this.
     
  4. JD.Deedee

    JD.Deedee Well-Known Member

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    My son was like this, don't worry too much about the milk unless she's getting too much just start watering the milk down, this too helps to transition to water.(we've only done that recently and he's on water at night since last week)
    Try taking of the sides and perhaps do bed guards but this helped so so much as it turned out my son hated being in an enclosed space, he wouldn't even go in his travel cot!
    Try nursery instead of playgroups, I tried but it drove me insane because if I'd only go toilet for a minute he'd get upset and wanted to leave upon returning. We didn't try nursery until 2 and it was a disaster apparently it helps if you either go a bit earlier or later than 2 especially with this persistent clinginess. When he tried again just months before he turned 3 he was fine but this time, I went to a different one were they knew about his clinginess and by then also delayed speech. And do speak to your health visitor if you have any concerns about her behaviour x


     
  5. Rooster30

    Rooster30 Well-Known Member

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    My daughter is similar with the toy situation - just not interested and would rather cause problems. I don't get it as my son with really into cars by this age so my daughter being only interested in watching Peppa Pig is bizarre. (compared to your story I am now grateful for this as at least that holds her attention for a bit!).
     
  6. Shepherdess

    Shepherdess Well-Known Member

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    thanks for the replies. we've just had a night from hell. wakes crying every hour and won't settle without milk. this morning she's just crying at me (tiredness I guess but she'll not go back to sleep.)

    our cot is quite an old fashioned thing so can't take the sides off but I'm thinking of just putting a double mattress on her bedroom floor and letting her sleep on that to see if it helps

    it's like she's newborn atm she cries so much no matter how hard I'm trying

    she was bf until a year and even then she was only up once or twice a night. she eats well to so I don't know why she wants milk so much

    I'll see the health visitor this week although I know she'll give me sleep solutions that we've already tried and tell me she's having too much milk

    sigh, it's going to be a long day
     
  7. kumber

    kumber Well-Known Member

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    Have you considered the possibility of autism? What you're going througn sounds so similar to me and my now 2yo who's being assessed for ASD


     
  8. Shepherdess

    Shepherdess Well-Known Member

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    I don't really know much about autism kumber, can my lo be assessed so young? how do no go about that kind of thing?
     
  9. Pambi

    Pambi Well-Known Member

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    Sorry you are having such a rough time. At 15months an attention span of 10 minutes is totally normal and so is lots of night waking. She's obviously quite physically active so I'd get her out as much as possible and burn lots of energy rain or shine. Playgroups and soft play are also good burners.

    Its all about their preferences at this age and if she's an investigator of unusual things, such as the bin, that's not such a bad thing. Think of all the different things, smells and colours it contains! If she likes being messy, try some messy play with sand / shaving foam / finger paints and be prepared for it to last 5 minutes and then a clean up. Biscuit dough is a good one because they can eat handfuls as well as roll and chop it. I find pinterest a really good source of ideas.

    My LG was very much like you describe while I was between jobs (around 17months), now I'm back part time and she's in nursery a couple of days a week she's much better. I think a routine really helps.

    There are the other usual things for night waking, you could try changing her bed time and some sleep training techniques that you might find helpful. Its not for everyone but controlled crying worked well for me and my LG was happier and more confident own afterwards.
     
  10. Shepherdess

    Shepherdess Well-Known Member

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    thanks for the reply.

    we do do lots of messy play we both enjoy it but again she gets bored quickly

    I will try and find more play groups so she can socialise. she won't be going to nursery but I'll definitely be looking for more things for us to do together

    she does love being outside. most days we walk up and down our farm roads loads but this weekend has been such a washout and her little size 3 feet don't quite fit her wellies yet

    re sleeping we've kind of tried CC but just can't stick at it it breaks my heart. I've noticed the last couple of days though that she's settling for her daytime naps on my pillow before I transfer her to her cot so today I transferred her with my pillow and she's had a great nap so I'm going to buy a toddler pillow tomorrow. I was trying to hold off until the recommended 2 but i think it might help
     
  11. Karenb

    Karenb Well-Known Member

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    My lg has gone to bed much better since we bought a toddler quilt and pillow! No idea why!! Sometimes she does cry but only for five mins max. We did gentle retreat method of sleep training at 9 months and it worked amazingly.
     

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