Am i going mad?

[Apple2018]

I had a baby girl via c section at 32 + 6 due to placental abruption. She is now starting to feed at 2 weeks old and is still in the special nursery. I have been advised that there is no concerns at present but she required oxygen at birth and was floppy but only stayed on oxygen for 6 hours and was on air for 2 days.
I spoke with a doctor who advised me her acid levels in her blood were fine and that she is unlikely to have issues in the future but i just had to ask the doctor more questions today regarding my placental abruption at 33 weeks but wish I never! I was advised my baby gasped for air when she came out via emergency c section so asked the doc if that was normal. She advised my baby came out floppy too but was given oxygen and was soon breathing as you would expect and that they think she came out in time. Her apgar scores were 4, 8 and 8. She was only on oxygen for 6 hours and just air for 2 days.
I am becoming obsessed by this and I am so worried incase she has developmental problems. The doc thinks the risks were minimised but obviously can't guarantee it. I am not sure if this is part of my post natal depression / anxiety but i am getting really upset by this and scared incase she has issues or if she is brain damaged - i know ott thinking there!
Had a referral to the obstitrician so will discuss the birth then but not sure i want to now. She is progressing well and now taking her bottle feeds so no indicators or concerns with her.
Am I going crazy??? The way i see it i should be enjoying her and thinking we will face any challenges together as a family but i can't let this go. I am getting mental health support at the moment too and a referral to the perinatal mental health team. But as mentioned, am i crazy or is this normal???? We are still in the special nursery so maybe too much time on my hands??

 

[Kitana]

I have no advice for you as I have no experience with very premature babies but I think it might be good for your peace of mind to talk about the birth with the obstetrician.
Your baby got oxygen really quickly after birth so I also think brain damage is unlikely, but I am not a doctor.
I think that you are going through a very tough time and the constant worry, anxiety and sleep deprivation, make you fall into this negative circle which will only get worse if you don't talk about it.
I've a friend who gave birth at 30 weeks and despite being unresponsive and very small at birth, the boy is now a healthy and and social 2 and a half year old.
You are not crazy but it would be best if you could talk about your worries. It's normal to be frightened, you had such a traumatic birth.
Take care of yourself hun, the baby needs a healthy mummy when she can come home!x