Alone

[miss_soldier]

I didn't know where else to turn too to try explain how I feel.

I feel alone. But yet I'm not alone, I have my other half, my family, other halfs family and my friends and yet I feel alone. I can't see myself being able to get over/move on from losing my little boy.

I am so tempted to just get in the car and drive to anywhere and not come home.

I know I'm being stupid but I have never felt like this before. Some days I'm ok, I get by but then days like this where I can't stop crying.

Is anyone else the same? Or been like this previously? I feel stupid posting this but I didn't know what else to do and don't know how to explain how I feel to family and friends incase I hurt their feelings as they have all been very supportive.

I feel I'm making no sense at all

 

[scn]

You are making sense hun. I feel alone too. For me it's like everyone else knows I have lost a baby and are supportive, but to them it wasn't really a baby yet if you know what I mean. Whereas for me, I lost my son and it doesn't matter to me that he was only just over 13 weeks gestation and he was never born alive and well and then taken from me, he was my child and now he's gone and left a big fat hole inside of my heart and guts and I'm lost without him.
For me, it doesn't matter how supportive everyone is, they can never understand or feel the grief that I feel at losing my boy.
Sorry I can't do or say anything to make you feel better, only time will do that for the both of us xx take care hun xx

 

[laurat]

Its a horrible place to be in honey but if it helps I do think its part of the grieving process. Its such an emotional rollercoaster to go through to loose a baby. No matter how wonderful and supportive others are you do feel alone at times. The feeling is like an emptyness too. On here can be a wonderful support but it you genuinely feel so lonely or want tonleave then maybe a councillor ar a support group may help. I wish I could give a magic answer but there isnt necessarily one. Taking each day at a time and try to think of a positive each day helped me till there were more positives than others. Starting with well its a beautiful day (it is here in Glasgow).

 

[flisstebbs]

I had some counselling after my 4th mc in Dec as I felt very similar to how your describing. It really helped me. There are several mc charities that offer this, I had 3 sessions over the telephone. So sorry for your loss. X

 

[Iwant3]

Loneliness is definitely part of the grieving process! you can be surrounded by people but still feel so alone! I had my hubby and kids with me all the time after my miscarriages - but still felt alone. And I went to the door one day and wanted to just walk out and keep walking - but realised that it was me that I wanted to get away from not the house or family - and that's just not possible. It does get easier, but you have to go through all these feelings, and feel them - don't try to pretend it's all ok and shut off the feelings as they will come back at a later date if you do not deal with them when they come.

If it helps contact the miscarriage association - they often have volunteers that you can telephone to talk to or just using their forum or reading their reference literature.

And keep talking on here too of course - as there are lots of lovely ladies who have been through all kinds of losses and can relate to your feelings.

 

[smnicholson92]

i feel excatly the same at the moment i thought i was getting better i lost my daugther 19 weeks ago today and it would have been her due date on monday i feel lost and empty even though i am pregnant again i just cant seeem to bond at all woth this baby i feel like my heart it constantly being ripped out i thought i was starting to get better but getting closer to what would have been her due date it hurts so much and like u say even tho everyone is being supportive and asking me if im oki i feel like they dont have a clue what its reli like iykwim, i just feel like no one understands at all i no people do because there are other people that have been through the same or a similar thing but i feel like i have no one to talk to as i dont want to burden other people with my problems and how im feeling sorry about the rant but im here if u wanna chat i no excatly how ur feeling, big hugs xxx

 

[VickyClare]

Hi miss, I feel exactly the same. I hate going out 'cus babies seem to be everywhere I turn. I too feel alone though I too have family around me. It's such a horrible time. I keep rubbing my stomach and wishing baby bump was still there, I feel empty and just when I think I'm becoming stronger something happens to make me fall apart again (i.e songs on the radio, tv adverts, even hearing the ice cream van makes me cry as I had all these plans in my head for our little girl that will never happen)

It's a pain I hope will become bearable in time. We have Rebecca's funeral on Thursday and God knows how I'm (we're) going to get through it, it just doesn't bear thinking about.

I hope that you can stay strong, though I know that's much easier said than done.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love & hugs,Vicky

P.s If you would like to PM for a chat then I am here for you x x

 

[smnicholson92]

Hi miss, I feel exactly the same. I hate going out 'cus babies seem to be everywhere I turn. I too feel alone though I too have family around me. It's such a horrible time. I keep rubbing my stomach and wishing baby bump was still there, I feel empty and just when I think I'm becoming stronger something happens to make me fall apart again (i.e songs on the radio, tv adverts, even hearing the ice cream van makes me cry as I had all these plans in my head for our little girl that will never happen)

It's a pain I hope will become bearable in time. We have Rebecca's funeral on Thursday and God knows how I'm (we're) going to get through it, it just doesn't bear thinking about.

I hope that you can stay strong, though I know that's much easier said than done.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Love & hugs,Vicky

P.s If you would like to PM for a chat then I am here for you x x

sorry to hear about ur loss hun as for the funeral u will get through it i was excatly the same i could see anyway of me and my partener getting through the day, we did we managed it i even managed to read a poem for her it was reli hard but u will get there jus think ur little angel is in peace now and im sure shes having fun up there with all the oter angels just like my brody ill be thinking of u on thursday hun i hope it all goes well xxx