all out in the open

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Layla, Jun 7, 2005.

  1. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    well i was going to talk to my other half about the probs and feelings i have been having, but he went behind my back and checked up on me, he came on here and saw all my posts.

    i know i shouldnt be mad coz i should have told him, and talked to him about the way i was feeling, but i cant help but feel mad coz of the way he did it, he went behind my back and snooped about, i dont feel i can trust him now.

    things are no better tho, i need to deicde what i want over the weekend
     
  2. Lisa J

    Lisa J Well-Known Member

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    i am sooo sorry to hear that, i really wish i could help
    good luck
    xxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. dani200420052000

    dani200420052000 Well-Known Member

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    Hi All!
    I have it bad with my partner too... he told me the other day that he thinks the best thing for this pregnancy is a termination, he said that financially we are not strong enought and emotionally we need to sort things out and I need to get more of a life instead of sitting at home all day.... I have just getting a job only 16hours per wk, but better than nothing! I am so hurt about what he has said, I have thought to myself, he is not the one livivng with this little life inside of them,, thats me. I love ,my partner but I love this little life more ( i dont mean to be horrible )... I mean last time when I fell pregnant we decided to keep the baby but I miscarried at 7/12 weeks and we were financially unstable none of us working,,, but now he has a full time good job, i work part time and he just does not want this baby and does not care how I am feeling! I am so hurt... he does not really speak about it, the only time i get answers is when he texts me! I mean he says he loves me but really does he! He said that the most important things at the mo are the bills....

    I am thinking to myself Is the best thing to leave him and go out on this pregnancy on my own and be a single mother or what! I just dont know... ca any1 help I feel so alone..

    Love Danielle and Bubble xx
     
  4. Lisa J

    Lisa J Well-Known Member

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    hi danielle
    no one can make that decision but you,
    Yes the bills are important coz u don't wanna be getting in to debt and welcome the little one to the world at the same time, trust me i got so much debt its killing me and my hubby, we are trying to clear that as best we can, which means not going out or doing anything! i mean anything! BUT he should not have said that too you, have you sat him down and talked this through properly coz that is the only way to find the answers you need, but you do need to tell him exactly how you feel!!!
    good luck
    xxxxxxxxx
     
  5. Blossom

    Blossom Well-Known Member

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    Hi Layla

    What a nightmare you're having. :(

    Try not to be upset with him for checking up on you. It's easy to use that as an excuse to have another go at him. Anyone would have done the same thing in his position and it's probably a good thing that he can see your feelings in black and white. It must be hard for him that you can discuss your feelings on here but not be able to talk to him. If he's a first time father, then he's going through a lot of emotional adjustment. imagine if you thought it was him going off you and you were worried he was going to leave you and take your baby with him. That's exactly his current situation.

    At least it really is out in the open and you don't have to pretend how you are feeling.

    Is there any chance he could go and stay with someone else for a couple of days? Maybe you just need a little bit of space to gather your thoughts and see how you really feel without him crowding you? A couple of days can;t hurt, especially when you've considered telling him to leave for good. You might really miss him!

    get yourself a bit of space and see how you feel.

    Good luck, I hope you get through this!
    Take care

    xxx
     
  6. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    he has gone away this weekend to a festival, before he left i relised i didnt want to be without him and its all the hormones making me feel funny, so we had a chat and everything is ok now, he will be back on tuesday so it will give me a chance to miss him
     
  7. -Cat-

    -Cat- Well-Known Member

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    Hiya Layla, Something I ment to mention to you on a previous post which may be of interest to you. Where you were feeling confused about feelings for your partner and feelings for your ex. Studies show that depending on where you are in your cycle, you are attracted to different types of men, so for part of the month you might go for a more clean cut boyish typeand for the other part a more rougish bad boy type. Are your partner and ex very different? perhaps this could explain why you are thinking about your ex, its a hormone thing attaracting you to his type?!?!
     
  8. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    wow yes that explains alot!

    my ex is clean cut boy band type, my new partner is rough unshaven boy type.

    thats very intresting, and has made me feel loads better, i have something to blame it on now! lol

    thank you
    xxxxxx
     
  9. -Cat-

    -Cat- Well-Known Member

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  10. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    ha ha ha, thats great!! thanks for finding that for me, its made my day! :D
     
  11. Nikki2003

    Nikki2003 Well-Known Member

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    Layla,

    You should have talked about those things with your better half....but nothings wrong with putting up posts for advice we all do it. But try to keep him involved.
     
  12. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    easier said than done!
     
  13. Nikki2003

    Nikki2003 Well-Known Member

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    No not if you and your man are close it shouldn't be that hard....aren't you two close?
     
  14. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    yes we are close but i was going through a whole load of stuff which i didnt know wether was hormones or not, i didnt want to say anything to him and hurt him if it was all for nothing in a few weeks when my hormones settled down
     
  15. Nikki2003

    Nikki2003 Well-Known Member

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    OK I gotcha now....sorry about that.
     

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