ADVICE :(

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by amyknight88, Oct 4, 2005.

  1. amyknight88

    amyknight88 Well-Known Member

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    I need some serious advice, me and my boyfriend split up a few weeks after we found out i was pregnant, anyway weve not heard nothing from him except him having a new girlfriend, which im not bothered about -my babys means more than that.

    Anyway, i think he's finally broken the news to his parents or theyve seen my bump because his mum has been round tonight and she says, if i dont agree to letting the baby stay with her from friday night to sunday night (evry week) then she will be getting solicitors involved.

    how am i supposed to bond with my baby if i can only spend 4 days a week with him or her. my mum reckons it will be a massive help as im hoping to return to college it will give me catch up time, but i think they think im being ungrateful. i dont see it as them helping but them taking my baby away :( (shes hoping to start this routine the week he/she is born so the baby see's it as normal) ive told her where to stick it!

    iv said they can see the baby WHENEVER they like but bub will stay with me allnight, everynight!!!!

    sorry about the moan

    amy x
     
  2. Emzy1982

    Emzy1982 Member

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    I agree with you totally. Let her see baby but to take the baby away for that amount of days isnt right. Especially at such a young age they need to bond with thier mummy :) All the talk of taking legal advice I would just ignore her. I mean I dont know much about legal rights, but in my mind they arent going to let a Grandmother take over like that.
    Try not to worry, you dont need the stress, you need to relax and enjoy youre pregnancy.
    Take care and keep us all posted.
    Emma xxxx
     
  3. leannie

    leannie Well-Known Member

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    Hiya

    Dont quote me on this as Im not 100% sure but I dont think grandparents have any rights. So if she went down the legal route she will be laughed out of court. Double check on this though. I agree that grandparents should be involved in their grandchilds life but to demand that baby stays with them every wkend is out of order. You stand up for yourself and only do hat you believe in.

    Take care

    x x x x
     
  4. ToriElla

    ToriElla Well-Known Member

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    that's shocking!!
    she can't lay the law down like that! You decide what is best for your child and you choose when he/she can go and visit them. She sounds quite rude and shouldn't be upsetting you when you are pg.

    Vicky xx
     
  5. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    i dont think its right that she demand to see the baby, she should have been alot more nice about it.

    but i agree with your mum on this, sorry, dont rule out teh possiblty of her having the baby overnight, maybe not 2 nights a week, but think about 1 at least.

    you will need the break and be greatful of the extra suport.

    when me and my hubby spilt, his mum got so worried she wouldnt see teh kids anymore that she offered to have them both over night every friday, she picks them up from school and brings them back saturday lunch times. its great!!! i get a night off to be me and do all the things i havent had a chance to do in the week.

    i relise everyone is diffrent and im not saying you should do this, im just saying think about it, you never know, you might enjoy having time to yourself :)
     
  6. honey7733

    honey7733 Well-Known Member

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    na don`t have that hun!!!!

    you need weekends with your baby especially if u r returning to college! your be busy during the week, with course work etc

    your best bet is too seek professional advice. if you are breastfeeding they can`t have baby anyway .

    at the end of the day you are the mummy and its down to u, seeing as the father is not interested. it will be hard for them to get anywhere with solicitors/court if he`s not paying he`s way or involved in babes life.

    take care and let us know the outcome
     
  7. Tineke

    Tineke Well-Known Member

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    Hi honey!!

    I have just discussed this with a family member who is a lawyer, and he 'beieves' that the grand parents do not have any rights unless, you are seen as an unfit mother. Now this would mean many things, they could even try claiming this, just to let you know.

    Most importantly, you should keep a documented journal on everything (always safe and stands up in court if anything was to happen).

    Personally, how I would see it is that if my partner wanted nothing to do with the child, why should their mother want to?? And if she genuinley wants a relationship with the baby she needs to learn to respect YOU first. If she can not respect you as a person, how do you know she would respect your child?

    I have a similar/yet opposite situation, where my partner's mother has already said that this child will not be anything compared to her daughters child. I was horrified that someone could even think this way. Therefore, I have made it very clear (for future possible situations) that she is not to see the baby unless

    1. I am respected As I am the mother of this child and
    2. I am present at the time.

    I would not allow your baby to be with someone you do not trust unless you were present at the time (for the whole time).

    I hope this helps you out!! These things can be very very difficult.

    Tineke oxox
     
  8. amyknight88

    amyknight88 Well-Known Member

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    thanks for your replies everyone, really appreciated. i had a talk with her thursday night and ive told her that if she isnt happy with seeing the baby a couple/a few times a week, not sleeping over, then she wont get to see the baby at all its as simple as that-she hung up on me and hasnt spoke since so i dont think shes too happy about it. anyway thanks again girls x
     
  9. emma1976

    emma1976 Well-Known Member

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    Ignore the old battleaxe, she will have no rights to the baby. If the baby isn't registered with the father even he has no rights so she certainly won't. Sounds to me like one of those interferring grandmothers, she should be encouraging her son to have involvement not thinking of herself.

    Don't worry, she can't do that. As Leannie said she will be laughed out of court.

    xxxxxxxxx
     
  10. Sarah&Braydon

    Sarah&Braydon Well-Known Member

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    YOUR baby can not be taken away from you especially while they are young without YOUR say so i was worried bout my ex and his mum so went to a solicitor and thats wot he said, although natural grandparent do have rights -SADLEY there visitation is down to you as long as you do let them see the baby, and dont worry they deffo wont be allowed 'sleep over if you dont want em to' especially if u r breast feeding
     

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