trixipaws
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- Oct 13, 2006
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the relationship i am in atm is my first serious relationship (i dont count the few i had in my teens that lasted a few months tops) so im a bit inexperienced at how to act sometimes, so i want ur help what to do here.
ill explain the situation:
1. we hav 2 house cats. we got them from a rescue centre, one of them was abused as a kitten and we think is mentally ******ed (its hard 2 explain but u would understand if u met her). in the summer we let them out into the garden, where we hav one 12-foot wall, one 8-foot wall and an 8-foot fence and gate at the end. we leave the back door propped open for them to come in and go out as they please.
a previous cat we had would go out and could get over the walls and fence no probs. we dont hav a cat-flap so we just used to let him back in when he miaowed at the back door. (he is no longer with us
)
but these 2 cats never go over the walls (the abused one can barely navigate the kitchen surfaces so its probably physically impossible for her anyway).
in the winter its too cold to leave the back door open so they stay in. i asked my boyf recently if i should let them out in the day, close the back door and just check every 10 minutes or so if they wanted to come back in, he said thats fine. so iv done this a couple of times.
2. on saturday, we came back from the shops, and my boyf let the cats out and went upstairs. millie and i were downstairs and it was freezing, so i closed the back door. i'd been sat in the living room for less than 5 minutes and my boyf, having come downstairs and gone into the kitchen shouted to me that the cats were miaowing at the door.
then, he had a big strop with me about it.
apparently he cannot remember the conversation i mentioned in paragraph 1. he said i was cruel for "locking them out". i tried to protest my innocence, first of all i love the cats i wouldnt lock them out. secondly i did not kno they were miaowing already and was gonna go check on them in about 5 minutes- i hadnt had the door closed for any longer than 5 minutes and didnt think theyd be ready to come in yet. thirdly- and most of all- he had previously agreed to me doing this!
but he claims he cant remember and wouldnt hav agreed it.
grrrrr but he DID! i do actually believe that he honestly cant remember, i dont think he does remember but is denying it.
he wouldnt speak to me all day, and i went to bed on my own (he joined me later). in the morning he was all normal and nice so i didnt mention it and we hav been fine since then.
but its just bugging me now- in his head he thinks i did something wrong and he has forgiven me. and that really pisses me off! he should need MY forgiveness for being horrible to me for no reason except his bad memory!
should i bring it up again, or is that immature?
ill explain the situation:
1. we hav 2 house cats. we got them from a rescue centre, one of them was abused as a kitten and we think is mentally ******ed (its hard 2 explain but u would understand if u met her). in the summer we let them out into the garden, where we hav one 12-foot wall, one 8-foot wall and an 8-foot fence and gate at the end. we leave the back door propped open for them to come in and go out as they please.
a previous cat we had would go out and could get over the walls and fence no probs. we dont hav a cat-flap so we just used to let him back in when he miaowed at the back door. (he is no longer with us
)but these 2 cats never go over the walls (the abused one can barely navigate the kitchen surfaces so its probably physically impossible for her anyway).
in the winter its too cold to leave the back door open so they stay in. i asked my boyf recently if i should let them out in the day, close the back door and just check every 10 minutes or so if they wanted to come back in, he said thats fine. so iv done this a couple of times.
2. on saturday, we came back from the shops, and my boyf let the cats out and went upstairs. millie and i were downstairs and it was freezing, so i closed the back door. i'd been sat in the living room for less than 5 minutes and my boyf, having come downstairs and gone into the kitchen shouted to me that the cats were miaowing at the door.
then, he had a big strop with me about it.
apparently he cannot remember the conversation i mentioned in paragraph 1. he said i was cruel for "locking them out". i tried to protest my innocence, first of all i love the cats i wouldnt lock them out. secondly i did not kno they were miaowing already and was gonna go check on them in about 5 minutes- i hadnt had the door closed for any longer than 5 minutes and didnt think theyd be ready to come in yet. thirdly- and most of all- he had previously agreed to me doing this!
but he claims he cant remember and wouldnt hav agreed it.
grrrrr but he DID! i do actually believe that he honestly cant remember, i dont think he does remember but is denying it.
he wouldnt speak to me all day, and i went to bed on my own (he joined me later). in the morning he was all normal and nice so i didnt mention it and we hav been fine since then.
but its just bugging me now- in his head he thinks i did something wrong and he has forgiven me. and that really pisses me off! he should need MY forgiveness for being horrible to me for no reason except his bad memory!
should i bring it up again, or is that immature?
I have similar arguments with my OH were I have told him something he hasnt listened then had a go at me for not telling him I have no way to prove it other then carry a dictaphone around all day and find it easier to let it go then argue, but its very frustrating I hate being told im wrong when I know im right!!! 
Next time the cats go out and he is indoors too just say "Honey Im letting the cats out could you listen out for them too, just incase I dont hear them, I dont want to leave them outside again getting chilly"
