Advice on a few things please

[Flame]

Just a few questions really for some advice.

Leif had started sleeping in his room for a few hours a night but in the last week or so he appears to have ended up sleeping in our bed every night again which means i dont get any sleep cause i think he is going to fall out on to his head again which happened a few weeks ago and also my oh doesnt get any sleep cause he tends to kick him a lot. He wakes up literally when we go to bed which is why he ends up sleeping in our room.

Also he seems to have started banging his head on doors or the floor if he doesnt get his own way? which is often cause he is quite naughty and always ignores when we say no. He also hits himself occasionally when we say no? My mum keeps telling me to take him to the doctors to check out why he is doing it incase he has some behaviour issues?

The last question is whenever he has his dinner/tea he will throw food all over the place, we cant take it off of him cause then he will starve, we cant feed him ourselves cause he refuses to eat it unless he is holding it or the fork. Our beige rug is now orange as are the sofa and chairs and we regularly find bits of food all over regardless of whether we think we have managed to get it all up or not.

Help please

 

[Beatlesfan]

how old is your LO hun?

 

[Flame]

He is 1 and a half.

 

[Charlie:-)]

Hi hun sounds like you really need to get these things nipped in the bud sooner rather than later.

I dont have any advise around sleeping or hitting himself/banging his head sorry Im sure you will get lots of replies from other lovely ladies who can offer help.

With regards to meal times (this is not tried and tested BTW cause Maia is only 6 months so it might not work) I personally would give a warning and explain that it is unacceptable and naughty to throw food onto the floor and that if he does it again you will take it away and there will be nothing else to eat. You need to follow though with this if he does throw it on the floor again, take his food away and when he realises that he either eats it or nothing else im sure he will get the message and start to eat rather than make a mess. You might have to do this a few nights before he gets the message though. Good luck, let us know what you decide to do and how it goes.

 

[Beatlesfan]

I am just about to feed my LO but I will reply later tonight. xx

 

[Beatlesfan]

Sorry I haven't replied earlier, my LO has been ill and very needy. My advice is to talk to your HV who might be able to help you understand what the motivation is behind the behaviour, e.g. attention seeking, learned behaviour (habitual), or frustration.
There are a number of strategies you could use, but it is hard to say which one might work without knowing the reasons why your LO behaves the way he does. But techniques which may work.

* rewarding apt. behaviour big time no matter how small it is, e.g. if he eats a little mouthful without throwing etc. big "yeaaaahh, well done" smiles etc.
*ignoring the inapt. behaviour - remove your (cream now orange!) rug, buy some plastic tablescloths and lay on floor, even get an old big cardborad box (freezer size) to shield around him while he eats....
* with the sleep thing, have you tried controlled crying? This may work
*or... when you and your OH got to bed, maybe your LO is hearing you and stirs... could you make sure you are very quiet when you go to bed, or go to bed earlier or in a different room see what happens?

These are just a couple of suggestions. I don't know if they help or not, but often children wil behave a certain way because they have learned that a certain reaction will be given.. maybe by changing your reaction he will change his behaviour?

I sympathise, you sound very frustrated by the whole thing. and like you need a good night's sleep alone in your bed. let us know how it is going.
x

 

[Redshoes]

I just wanted to add that Isaac is terrible for hitting himself, he hits his head with his hands, or bangs his forehead on things, be it the floor, sofa arm, whatever's closest and I started to ignore it as saying no to it made him worse, but ignoring him doesn't really work either as I see him watching me ignore him, so he does it more as he knows I will have to stop, pick him up, if he does it more than the once. I've no idea why he does it, I absolutely hate it, he once did it outside on concrete and had a right mark, so I'll be watching for any advice regards this too. I am sorry to hear things have gone backward with Leif's sleeping, but sometimes things do take two steps back, then as long as you're consistent and strong, you can get them back, sending very best wishes