determined79
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2016
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Hi All
I'm looking for some help and support and advice on my current situation. I am 37 years old and have got my first ever BFP on 19/08/2016. I'm really happy about this as we found out, unexpectedly, that I was pregnant in January after getting married in December but unfortunately I lost it. We went through a range of emotions and heartache and rowed constantly about who's fault it was and whether it was the right time and my husband didn't really want to be a dad again at that point (He has two 20+ yo daughters from a previous relationship- He is 46) so we limped through and made a decision together to start trying in Jul on our honeymoon. We both talked about it and we both agreed we wanted to do it. When I got confirmation that I was pregnant he was very remote and numb, he said he was happy and it was good news but his body language and face said different. I keep asking what the concerns are and why, when he said he wanted this is he only seeing negatives. he keeps saying he's losing his freedom again, he has money worries and he believes that this will split us rather than bring us together, he wont acknowledge any positives on this and is obsessing on the negative aspects. He said he doesn't want to acknowledge it right now and carry on as usual for a while so he doesn't lose his way of life sooner than he has to?! I feel so alone, I hoped that I would get someone who was equally excited and happy that I was carrying his child and share in it with me and make me feel loved - all I feel is isolated and alone and almost embarrassed by the situation. We haven't told anyone as I'm only 6 weeks so I can talk it through with anyone. My next worry is when we get round to telling people the first sign of someone criticising his age or whether he is sure he should be doing that he will get further away from me emotionally - Anyone any advise? Please?
I'm looking for some help and support and advice on my current situation. I am 37 years old and have got my first ever BFP on 19/08/2016. I'm really happy about this as we found out, unexpectedly, that I was pregnant in January after getting married in December but unfortunately I lost it. We went through a range of emotions and heartache and rowed constantly about who's fault it was and whether it was the right time and my husband didn't really want to be a dad again at that point (He has two 20+ yo daughters from a previous relationship- He is 46) so we limped through and made a decision together to start trying in Jul on our honeymoon. We both talked about it and we both agreed we wanted to do it. When I got confirmation that I was pregnant he was very remote and numb, he said he was happy and it was good news but his body language and face said different. I keep asking what the concerns are and why, when he said he wanted this is he only seeing negatives. he keeps saying he's losing his freedom again, he has money worries and he believes that this will split us rather than bring us together, he wont acknowledge any positives on this and is obsessing on the negative aspects. He said he doesn't want to acknowledge it right now and carry on as usual for a while so he doesn't lose his way of life sooner than he has to?! I feel so alone, I hoped that I would get someone who was equally excited and happy that I was carrying his child and share in it with me and make me feel loved - all I feel is isolated and alone and almost embarrassed by the situation. We haven't told anyone as I'm only 6 weeks so I can talk it through with anyone. My next worry is when we get round to telling people the first sign of someone criticising his age or whether he is sure he should be doing that he will get further away from me emotionally - Anyone any advise? Please?