Actually, really fed up!! - MIL rant!!

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by xSebbiesMumx, Jun 3, 2013.

  1. xSebbiesMumx

    xSebbiesMumx Well-Known Member

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    This is going to be another very complex, annoyingly long problem!!..Everythings just so messed up i just want to put my head in a pillow and not take it out again until the problems passed..So i thought id come here and tell you all about it as you've all offered me pretty sound advice through the months/years ive been a member here..So here goes...

    Now, as some of you may/may not know my MIL suffers from Alzheimers disease..So i kinda' know that people will probably say 'Ohh its not her fault shes like this'..No its not in a way but sometimes i just feel so..Crappy about the way she speaks to us all when shes in one of her huffy moments..Where its everyones fault but hers!!

    So earlier today, I was busy tending Sebastian as he was in one of his grumpy moods when all of a sudden she leaves the room..Didn't know where she was going as I was busy with other things, she then huffs her way upstairs complaining shes in pain, and on the way up she says the word 'Lazy'..I dont know if she was addressing me or OH with that!, que a massive backward and forward argument where she starts shouting about how much she hates OH!, i dont think it was very nice!..As he's the only one of 4 children that actually moved back in when his mother was struggling..The rest of them have all vacated to different parts of the UK or even abroad!..So they both carry on effing and blinding at one another!, im downstairs trying to keep Seb quiet as by now he's clocked on that something is happening!..Let alone being startled by the amount of shouting going on upstairs..We're trying our best to find out whats wrong with her at the moment..She has this weird pain in her side and seems to take great pleasure in taking her pain out on us whenever she can!

    Its gotten so bad that OH is now on anti depressants and has had to cancel his doctors appointment so his mum can be seen sooner as he's also fed up of how his mother speaks to him when shes in one of her moods, his appointment was to get more anti depressants and probably talk to the doctor a bit more..Who knows what goes on at those appointments..

    And its also gotten that bad that I really want to talk to OH about putting her in a home (As bad as that sounds), but I know he wont do it and before this is made out to sound like im the daughter in law from hell..Its not that i want her to go in a home..Its just that when she gets in those kind of fits of rage where she effs and blinds until shes blue in the face and sometimes will swing for whoever shes shouting at...I just stop and think what sort of effect this is having on Seb or will have on Seb' once he's old enough to understand those words and whats happening around him (he's almost 1)..As harsh as it sounds i dont really want him raised in this kind of environment where you have to constantly walk on eggshells!...

    I just feel like leaving this house and going somewhere else!, my head is all over the place!!..Hence me being awake at this hour!!:shock:
     
    #1 xSebbiesMumx, Jun 3, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2013
  2. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Gosh it sounds bloody horrible!!!

    Is there any support that can be offered? Respite care?

    Long term you may have to consider a home for your MIL so maybe it's an option to find somewhere she can go as an outpatient / for weekends and then gradually build up.

    I am not sure how far down the line she is? Also what was your relationship like before the dementia? I know it's really common for patients to suffer anger issues which is why home care is so tough.

    I know it's a horrible thing to say but as a Granny I am sure she herself wants what is best for little one and as a mother she would want what is best for her son.

    xxxxxx
     
    #2 CARNAT22, Jun 3, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2013
  3. precious_cargo

    precious_cargo Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun.
    Are social services involved? She should be having her needs assessed and then support put n place.

    Her behaviour needs addressing-they do sometimes take on a completely different personality to the way they were before the disease. Has she been formally diagnosed? Athe end game will be a nursing home, is oh her carer? Bless u both its a tough situation x

    Ella Faith 8/2/13 8lb 13.5 oz x
     
  4. xSebbiesMumx

    xSebbiesMumx Well-Known Member

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    She was diagnosed years ago, apparently its a really slow progressing one and shes on numerous tablets to slow it down..Yes my OH is her carer!

    As harsh as this sounds i sort of dont blame OH's brothers and sisters from fleeing..I wish i could do the same sometimes :|
     
  5. precious_cargo

    precious_cargo Well-Known Member

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    Its not harsh hun anyone with experience of the disease knows how hard it is. Is it time to consider more support than oh can give. Its lovely he wants to care fir his mum but it can end up putting such a strain on everything else. :hugs: feel free to pm me for a chat xx

    Ella Faith 8/2/13 8lb 13.5 oz x
     

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