A

[mummywanabe]

I just saw this thread I am so sorry for what you are going through especially as it happened before, he's a number 1 A**hole!!! I can't believe he blanked you and your son in the street it makes me so angry that men do this, I understand it can be overwhelming but do they not get its overwhelming for us too! Just before I found out I was pregnant I found out my husband was messaging a woman who works for his company but a different office, the messages between them were not things a married man should be saying to any woman but his wife, i don't know if it would have turned into anything but after having our son and 5 miscarriages I can't believe he treated me like that, we decided to work through things and then I found out about baby I still have moments of paranoia and do check his phone etc and although I believe he's not up to anything I've been putting money away now so that if he messes up again he will be straight out the door and back to living in his mums, sometimes men are stupid and don't realise how good they have it, if u do end up together again just make sure u r happy and look after yourself, you'll be ok either way and you will cope it's his loss

 

[Robbda]

WOW People never fail to amaze me I'm sorry you have been left in this situation especially with what's going on at work.

I think if you can focus (I can imagine your head must be everywhere) is to budget, speak to any creditors you have and explain the situation ask for a payment arrangement where you can, they tend to be understanding if you are in contact and explain your covering all the bills now suddenly.

then id plan, get your details together for the CSA application - as soon as baby is born submit it, it take a while for payments to kick in, but you can use the next few weeks to gather information, where he works, is living (or last known address) etc.

Then get yourself over to moneysavingexpert.com there are forums on there where people will help you budget, give advice and ideas, also check out www.entiltedto.co.uk that will help you suss out what financial help your council will give I think I remember you work part time so now you maybe able to get the maternity grant it was £500 i think which might give you a breather and check out freecycle or see if there is a local facebook page people sell car seats and stuff all the time

I know the financial side is only part, but if you can take control of that it will leave you free to deal with the other side honey, and keep you focused xx

 

[KeelyT90]

I just saw this thread I am so sorry for what you are going through especially as it happened before, he's a number 1 A**hole!!! I can't believe he blanked you and your son in the street it makes me so angry that men do this, I understand it can be overwhelming but do they not get its overwhelming for us too! Just before I found out I was pregnant I found out my husband was messaging a woman who works for his company but a different office, the messages between them were not things a married man should be saying to any woman but his wife, i don't know if it would have turned into anything but after having our son and 5 miscarriages I can't believe he treated me like that, we decided to work through things and then I found out about baby I still have moments of paranoia and do check his phone etc and although I believe he's not up to anything I've been putting money away now so that if he messes up again he will be straight out the door and back to living in his mums, sometimes men are stupid and don't realise how good they have it, if u do end up together again just make sure u r happy and look after yourself, you'll be ok either way and you will cope it's his loss

Thank you.... It's good of you two to work things out and that savings idea is incredible, I should really start to be more careful with money now a days xx

 

[KeelyT90]

WOW People never fail to amaze me I'm sorry you have been left in this situation especially with what's going on at work.

I think if you can focus (I can imagine your head must be everywhere) is to budget, speak to any creditors you have and explain the situation ask for a payment arrangement where you can, they tend to be understanding if you are in contact and explain your covering all the bills now suddenly.

then id plan, get your details together for the CSA application - as soon as baby is born submit it, it take a while for payments to kick in, but you can use the next few weeks to gather information, where he works, is living (or last known address) etc.

Then get yourself over to moneysavingexpert.com there are forums on there where people will help you budget, give advice and ideas, also check out www.entiltedto.co.uk that will help you suss out what financial help your council will give I think I remember you work part time so now you maybe able to get the maternity grant it was £500 i think which might give you a breather and check out freecycle or see if there is a local facebook page people sell car seats and stuff all the time

I know the financial side is only part, but if you can take control of that it will leave you free to deal with the other side honey, and keep you focused xx

I dont get the MAT grant this time as I've already had one before, you only get it with your first child x

 

[SiameseCatLady]

Just want to add and say so sorry that you have had to cope with this creature.
You seem very strong and your two little boys are very, very lucky to have you. You will be ok. You're working and hopefully you can find some support. Have you spoken to or thought about the Citizen's Advice Bureau? Also, get those maintenance payments in place ASAP! Start looking into things and thinking about his finances. He needs to grow a pair and face up to the consequences of his decisions. It sounds harsh, but I hope you bleed him dry!