Hi, I've been reading through a lot of your posts on this heart felt topic, and I thought I might just offer my own interjection from a male perspective.
My wife and I have been trying for over 3 years now. Our cause is down as "unexplained" at this time. My wife was diagnosed with endometriosis which is something I'm sure you are all aware of and doesn't need explaining by me. Although she has had surgery to remove it, and had the all clear, we are as yet unsuccessful. My own sperm is very good and healthy.
Which leads us to a very frustrating place. I almost wish there were something wrong that doctors could put their finger on and say "yes, that's it, that's was causing your infertility" that way we'd at least know and might be able to do something about it. Having "unexplained" as your diagnosis kind of leaves you in limbo. We will be going on to IVF in time and just hope that works. The main concern is that her egg quality might be poor. But we will cross that bridge when/if we come to it.
But the reason for this post was to tell you about how a man might be going through with, and coping with this situation. Just to offer a little understanding. I can tell you that from my own perspective, the need to father children is quite strong in me. It's not so much the thought of raising my children (which I admit is very important to me) but more a primitive urge to pass on my DNA, my genes, and this is something that makes no sense really, because I would be happy to adopt if that was our only option (my wife is not keen on the possibility of egg donors as she wants the baby to be half her, half me understandably) if it were to transpire that we couldn't conceive naturally, adoption may be our only solution, and that's fine. But for some reason it does not take away that feeling of wanting just to know, that I have procreated. That there is a part of me living on somewhere. It's a very primal instinct I know, but it's something that exists and should really be acknowledged. I think both the male and female mental state in these situations will differ greatly, and it can only be a good thing to try to understand each other's feelings more.
I hope that this post helps in some way, or at least offers an interesting read. Feel free to post comments, or you wish to talk to me privately I'm happy to discuss and talk to you about any issues you might have.
I wish you all the very best of luck, and I hope that each and every one of you become mums and dads xxx
My wife and I have been trying for over 3 years now. Our cause is down as "unexplained" at this time. My wife was diagnosed with endometriosis which is something I'm sure you are all aware of and doesn't need explaining by me. Although she has had surgery to remove it, and had the all clear, we are as yet unsuccessful. My own sperm is very good and healthy.
Which leads us to a very frustrating place. I almost wish there were something wrong that doctors could put their finger on and say "yes, that's it, that's was causing your infertility" that way we'd at least know and might be able to do something about it. Having "unexplained" as your diagnosis kind of leaves you in limbo. We will be going on to IVF in time and just hope that works. The main concern is that her egg quality might be poor. But we will cross that bridge when/if we come to it.
But the reason for this post was to tell you about how a man might be going through with, and coping with this situation. Just to offer a little understanding. I can tell you that from my own perspective, the need to father children is quite strong in me. It's not so much the thought of raising my children (which I admit is very important to me) but more a primitive urge to pass on my DNA, my genes, and this is something that makes no sense really, because I would be happy to adopt if that was our only option (my wife is not keen on the possibility of egg donors as she wants the baby to be half her, half me understandably) if it were to transpire that we couldn't conceive naturally, adoption may be our only solution, and that's fine. But for some reason it does not take away that feeling of wanting just to know, that I have procreated. That there is a part of me living on somewhere. It's a very primal instinct I know, but it's something that exists and should really be acknowledged. I think both the male and female mental state in these situations will differ greatly, and it can only be a good thing to try to understand each other's feelings more.
I hope that this post helps in some way, or at least offers an interesting read. Feel free to post comments, or you wish to talk to me privately I'm happy to discuss and talk to you about any issues you might have.
I wish you all the very best of luck, and I hope that each and every one of you become mums and dads xxx
