A man walks into a pub with his monkey.He orders a pint and sits down to drink it.while he`s sitting at the bar,his monkey is out of control.It jumps up on the pool table and eats the cue ball.The landlord runs up to the man and says,"Did you see what your stupid monkey just did?" "No, what did the stupid fucker do this time?" says the man. "He just ate the cue ball!" shouts the landlord. "I hope it kills the stupid *******," says the man. About two weeks later,the man comes backto the pub with his monkey.while he`s drinking at the bar,his monkey is agaian out of control.The monkey finds a grape at the bar,picks it upsticks it up his arse,and then eats it. The landlord,having seen this,asks the man:"Did you see what your sick monkey just did?" "No",says the man. "He just stuck a grape up his arse and ate it," the landlord tells him. "Well,what do you expect?"asks the man."Since that pool ball he measures everything first!"