9 year plus age gap

Discussion in 'Growing Up' started by Donna88, Jul 28, 2016.

  1. Donna88

    Donna88 Well-Known Member

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    Hi all


    Me and my husband are currently TTC.... we have been kind of since October, however I was on depo and this was my first cycle where I actually ovulated.

    Anyway, I know because of this it's still early days but not falling pregnant this cycle when I'd convinced myself I could be it's really hit me how there will be quite a big age gap between new baby and my son (not my husbands, we met when my son was 14 months old and we didn't want to rush into having a family together just because little one was at the right age) so depending on how long it takes us, he will be 9 possibly 10 or older before we have a baby. Is that too big of an age gap?

    He's quite a happy only child, not selfish and likes to share... but is it going to hit him hard suddenly having a baby in the house when he's been the only one for so long?
     
  2. Browneyed Girl

    Browneyed Girl Well-Known Member

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    I was 8 when my brother came along and we've always been very close. I loved having another child in the house xxx


     
  3. GF91

    GF91 Well-Known Member

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    I was 17 when my little sister arrived! Lots of people thought she was mine rather than mums, & if I have her now with my LG people will often ask if their sisters! I really don't think age gaps matter 😊 Xxx
     
  4. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun,

    I often wonder the same. We started ttc when our son was 6 and a half. Not planned but due to circumstances, starting new jobs, moving house etc that's how it ended up. 16 months later we're still trying and he'll be 8 in September. This is never how I wanted it but now I couldn't care less what age he is, we'll be so delighted to have a baby we'll work with the situation. I do actually think now I'm glad he's older, he's desperate to be a big brother too and obviously old enough to understand and be able to help a little. My sister had a 14 month age gap and has never enjoyed it, she's put me off a small age gap for life :lol:

    I think there will be elements of jealously, I'm not naive to think that won't happen at all. Maybe even resentment because a new baby changes things like we have a night once a month we do family dinner and cinema night. Obviously having a wee baby could change this but we're going to do our best to still do this, if family will take the baby for a few hours so we can still give him that time with just us. I'll take him to his swimming lesson on my own and leave baby at home with daddy etc so again he's still got mummy time like it is now. I think little things like that will help the process!

    My son also has 13 cousins he's very close to so he doesn't really have that only child thing thankfully!

    I'm sure your son will be a fab big brother so don't worry about all the other little things :) xx
     
    #4 MrsS15, Jul 29, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2016
  5. *glow*

    *glow* Well-Known Member

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    Hi
    There's 9 years between my eldest and middle child. They adore each other - I gave them their own time with me and now they are best friends.

    I was worried too - but don't be it's great X


     
  6. Kholl

    Kholl Well-Known Member

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    My sister is 9 years younger than I am and she is my best friend in the world. We could not be closer. And my husband's brother is 10 years younger than he is and THEY are best friends too. In fact, my sister married my husband's brother- that's how close we all are haha! It's the best!
     
  7. Phoenix85

    Phoenix85 Well-Known Member

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    I have a 12 yr old, a 9yr old and a 9 week old. 9 yr old is 10 in November.
    My 9yr old has very much been my baby and didn't want me to have any more babies so she was a bit upset and has her moments but she still loves her baby sister and comforts her, sings to her etc. She just has times where she gets a bit sulky or stroppy and wants reassurance that I still love her.

    My eldest wanted me to have a baby for several years now (though wanted a brother haha) so was delighted and still is, even though I had another girl, 12yr old is still happy and loves holding her and kissing her lol.

    I think the age gap is really good though, my older 2 are more of a help and are really good with the baby. It would have been a lot harder if they were younger.
     
    #7 Phoenix85, Sep 7, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2016
  8. JamsMom

    JamsMom Well-Known Member

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    My son has just turned 10. (Also not my partners, we met when Jam had just turned 4). We haven't told him yet, but a while ago he was saying he wanted a baby sister or brother and recently he said he likes being an only child as he won't have to split the inheritance when the time comes :lol: switched on. In all seriousness, like you I'm going to make a concerted effort to spend time with just him and also make sure he gets involved and never feels left out. He's a very grown up & sensible so I think he'll be fine. I think an older child would really enjoy having a baby around x
     
  9. MrsMcc

    MrsMcc Well-Known Member

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    I was fine with being an only child until I was 10 then I became very lonely.
     
  10. nikkix86

    nikkix86 Well-Known Member

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    I was an only child and as I got older I would of loved a brother or sister even now at 30 I'd love to have siblings. I think because of this and feeling lonely I've always wanted a big family I have an 8 and 4 year old and they fight like cat and dog lol and pregnant with number 3 so there will be an 8 year age gap between my oldest and youngest but I'm hoping when they get older they will appreciate having siblings there for them. unfrtunaely my 4 year old is so demanding I don't get much time with my 8 year old one to one which is probably where the resentment comes from but I do try when I can
     
  11. lisey

    lisey Well-Known Member

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    There will be 15 years between my children :shock: I never wanted an only child as I am used to a big family and wanted that for my children. The age gap is bigger than I had planned. We were ttc 5 years but it's the nature of ttc, never know when it will happen. In don't think it really matters. Me and my sister have 18 years between us and as we have gotten older, the age gap has closed xx
     

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