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Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Melly+2, Dec 10, 2007.

  1. Melly+2

    Melly+2 Well-Known Member

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  2. suzy100

    suzy100 Well-Known Member

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    so sorry to hear about your situation. first off, id find somewhere to go, then if your that worried he wont let you take Hope, leave when he is at work.
    i was in same situation with my first, was a very abusive relationship.
    anyway, i spent a few days sorting what i would take.
    went through every drawer and cupboard and put all my stuff on the right so that when i left i could grab everything quickly.
    sounds crazy now cuz the day i did leave, i left with nothing and never did get any of my stuff or shelbys.
    went to my mums and they got me everything i needed.
    Botttom line is dont be miserable in a relationship. it may be scary leaving him but is it better to stay and be sad every single day and can you honestly see it getting any better?
    hope this helps hun
     
  3. Melly+2

    Melly+2 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks hun, i know what you mean being in a violent realtionship, not with gal but with my ex, he was horrible but i never had the strength to leave, thankfully he eneded it so i was able to escape. Gals a lovely bloke really, but the love isnt there, i mean i love him but im not finding what i need from him :(
     
  4. libs

    libs Well-Known Member

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    Hun has this only been the last few weeks? If so - please don't run immediately. If it is that you honestly feel you don't love him anymore - then fair enough. If you've just had a few weeks of arguments it could just be a bad patch - everyone has them :hug: Perhaps you just need to take time out together and remember why you were together in the first place. Having an argument cos he can't find something..and of course because you're supposed to know where everything is isn't that unusual :wink: Have words with him about the language he uses to you - ask him if he'd be happy with someone talking to Hope like that in 20 years?

    As for the affection thing I have lots of male AND female friends who are like that - just one of those things - some people are v private. :hug: :hug:

    apologies if there's a long history there that I didn't know about
     
  5. Melly+2

    Melly+2 Well-Known Member

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    I dont know how long the arguments have been going on now but the things he says just get worse every time, last time, he told me i was scum and that he never hated anyone so much in his life, i cant cope with being told that, its not fair. Ive started packing now, just need to phone my mum up and ask her if i can stop with her for a while until i find my feet, maybe this is just what me and Gal need atm, maybe it will light the spark back up for us who knows :think:
     
  6. libs

    libs Well-Known Member

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    ah well if it's a while, then its different - good luck :hug:
     
  7. Melly+2

    Melly+2 Well-Known Member

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    thanks hun, im feeling the pain now lol crying like a baby :cry:
     
  8. suzy100

    suzy100 Well-Known Member

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    going to your mums sounds like a good idea to me.
    might give him time to realise how much you mean to him and how much you do actually do.
    give it a while and see how it goes.
    the things he has been saying to you is still abuse.......just cuz hes not physically hitting you......
    dont rush back the first time he starts begging either.
    enjoy christmas with your mum and LO.
    (im not saying take my advice, but this is what i would do)
    GOOD LUCK :hug:
     
  9. mamichuli

    mamichuli Well-Known Member

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    Good luck hunny, hopw things work out for you, one way or another. But please remember that the way he speaks to you IS abuse. He makes you feel worthless and if you take it, you will end up thinking that you deserve it. I know, I did. I lived with a man like that for fifteen years, the last five or so the relationship was worse and worse, he called me all sort of things and just implied that I was useless, and I ended up believing him. Now I am four years into a new relationship with a man who treats me soooooooooo well and makes me feel spoiled. You deserve that too.

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
    LIsa
     
  10. Slinky Sarah

    Slinky Sarah Well-Known Member

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    good luck...i hope this works for you and you come to the decision that is best for you and hope.
    take care xx
     
  11. Babylicious

    Babylicious Well-Known Member

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  12. Melly+2

    Melly+2 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks everyone. Im at my mums now and tbh i feel really shitty, hes not even bothered phoning me since we spoke this morning, just goes to show how much he cares. Not that i care :roll: Hope seems to be enjoying her time here anyways and we have had a right old giggle today, very sad but we will be ok in the end, whether or not me and gal stay together i know my family will never not love me :)
     
  13. happy-chick

    happy-chick Well-Known Member

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  14. skairdykat

    skairdykat Well-Known Member

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    Hun you know were I am if you need to talk :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  15. Emmylou

    Emmylou Well-Known Member

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    Awww hun, so sorry to hear this :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  16. HappyAlice

    HappyAlice Well-Known Member

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    Hi, hope you're OK :hug:
     
  17. MissGobby

    MissGobby Well-Known Member

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    aww hunny only just seen this. you know where i am if you ever wanna talk :hug:
     

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