42 Pregnant and scared

[Dutchie]

Hi,

Is anyone else 42 and this is their first pregnancy. This is mine ! and I am totally scared and confused. I really thought that if I ever got pregnant that I would be over the moon, but so far I am not. Is this normal ?

I have discomfort as if my period is still going to start even though the test was positive and I am now only 4-5 weeks.

Is 42 the right age to have a baby ? I know that there are lots of tests to make sure that the baby will be ok but I am just really not sure what to do.

Is there anyone else that is feeling like this ?

 

[scn]

I'm almost 40 and expecting my first. I've lost 2 babies since November last year and hoping this is my third time lucky!
I'm only scared in case I lose this one as well, but couldn't be happier really xx
Was your pregnancy unplanned?

 

[mrz85]

is there ever a right age to have a baby ? it s always scarey ! give yourself more time to get used to the idea , these days lots of older mum"s about ! X

 

[stacesl3]

Hi there, you really are not alone

I'm 41, single and my first pregnancy. I am ecstatic but also absolutely petrified! Worrying about everything, every slight cramp/ache/stitch etc etc.... all these symptoms are normal, trust me I have asked around enough! I am a natural born worryer anyway, but at the end of the day it really does you no good. Many women in their late 30's and 40's have very healthy pregnancies and go to have healthy happy babies, I know a couple of ladies who gave birth at 41 and 42 to perfectly healthy little babies, read around there are some lovely positive stories out there

PLease dont think you are alone, i think its normal to be scared and confused. x

 

[Jayjay027]

Its a scary time for anyone when they just find out they're pregnant, even if the pregnancy was planned. I can understand ur concern though with regards to ur age.
If it makes u feel any better, my cousin had her first baby 2yrs ago at age 40, and the baby is a perfectly healthy, happy 2yr old girl.
As someone else has said, the worrying won't do you any favours. Try to stay calm and enjoy your pregnancy. And congratulations x

Tapatalking from my blackberry!

 

[Little_angel]

I'm 39 and had a normal pregnancy (once I was pregnant!) and a home water birth. No complications due to my age at all. To be honest, late 30s and very early 40s is not that unusual these days.

It's also fairly normal to feel confused. No matter how much you want it, this is a life changing thing and it's natural to feel apprehensive or conflicted.

40 is the new 30, which is a terrible cliche, but I honestly believe it's true. My mums generation mostly had their kids in their early 20s. In our generation it's common for it to be much later. Most of my mummy friends are mid to late 30s. You're unlikely to be the oldest mum at the playgroup or the school gate. I'm fitter than my mum was at 40, she's fitter at 65 than her mum was (quite a bit). So I'm hoping to still be able to keep up with my LO for a while!

There are huge benefits to being an older mum. I'm not at all saying that we're better than young mums, but I bring different things to the table than I would have if I'd been a lot younger. I'm more confident and comfortable with myself than I was in my 20s, I'm happier and I have a lot of life experience. I have a solid marriage and we're financially very stable.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck for the future xxx

 

[Little_angel]

It's also normal to have cramps in the first few weeks of pregnancy. They do feel very similar to period pains. It's the uterus expanding.

 

[Dotty_woman]

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Whilst this is not my first pregnancy I am also 42. I had my last child when I was 29 and wasn't in the slightest bit worried. This time I worried all the way to about 17 weeks. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage in September last year and this has made it more worrying when i found myself pregnant in March this time but having been on PF for nearly a year now, this is something that is not confined to the older mums and can unfortunately happen to anyone. However this does not mean pregnancy has to be terrifying for us older mums. I arranged a private scan at 9weeks just to make sure all was OK and was over the moon to see a heartbeat which was a big relief. The major turning point for me was getting past the worry over Downs and the other syndromes. After a post I saw on here I arranged to have the Harmony test which is a non-invasive alternative to the CVS/amniocentesis. I appreciate the risks are higher for older mums and needed to know where I stood. Fortunately this came back as low risk for me but I have been really relaxed ever since knowing all is OK. I hope some of the posts above give you some reassurance that it's not as scary as it might feel. I wish you all the best in your pregnancy. Good luck! xxx

 

[Dutchie]

I'm almost 40 and expecting my first. I've lost 2 babies since November last year and hoping this is my third time lucky!
I'm only scared in case I lose this one as well, but couldn't be happier really xx
Was your pregnancy unplanned?

Congratulations on your pregnancy and fingers crossed for you. xx

As for my pregnancy not being planned well my partner and I have not used anything in years and nothing happened, so we always thought well it's just not to be, then when my period was late I thought no this is going to be positive. Shocked me like no tomorrow when it was positive.

Its also nice that since I have joined here people are posting comments and making me feel more at ease.

Thanks for your message xx

 

[Dutchie]

Hi there, you really are not alone

I'm 41, single and my first pregnancy. I am ecstatic but also absolutely petrified! Worrying about everything, every slight cramp/ache/stitch etc etc.... all these symptoms are normal, trust me I have asked around enough! I am a natural born worryer anyway, but at the end of the day it really does you no good. Many women in their late 30's and 40's have very healthy pregnancies and go to have healthy happy babies, I know a couple of ladies who gave birth at 41 and 42 to perfectly healthy little babies, read around there are some lovely positive stories out there

PLease dont think you are alone, i think its normal to be scared and confused. x

Thank you its nice to know that I am not alone, congratulations on your pregnancy as well. I know what you mean about all the cramps and feelings in your stomach. I am always going to the toilet thinking that my period is starting and the test was wrong.

xx

 

[scn]

We're all here to support each other along the journey, it's a great place to talk about your fears and worries with like minded worriers!!!!
Better late than never for us oldies!!!!!!

 

[Dutchie]

I'm 39 and had a normal pregnancy (once I was pregnant!) and a home water birth. No complications due to my age at all. To be honest, late 30s and very early 40s is not that unusual these days.

It's also fairly normal to feel confused. No matter how much you want it, this is a life changing thing and it's natural to feel apprehensive or conflicted.

40 is the new 30, which is a terrible cliche, but I honestly believe it's true. My mums generation mostly had their kids in their early 20s. In our generation it's common for it to be much later. Most of my mummy friends are mid to late 30s. You're unlikely to be the oldest mum at the playgroup or the school gate. I'm fitter than my mum was at 40, she's fitter at 65 than her mum was (quite a bit). So I'm hoping to still be able to keep up with my LO for a while!

There are huge benefits to being an older mum. I'm not at all saying that we're better than young mums, but I bring different things to the table than I would have if I'd been a lot younger. I'm more confident and comfortable with myself than I was in my 20s, I'm happier and I have a lot of life experience. I have a solid marriage and we're financially very stable.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck for the future xxx

Thanks for your message, I know what you mean about being a later mum, I have now read many posts about mums saying that they are in a better place in life to have a baby, even though a lot of woman have children in their 20's or even earlier, at a later age we are in a more financial position in life (I know that some people are not) but at least my partner and I are in a bad situation.

As for mum she had a total of 5 pregnancies but there is only me and my sister and 2 were MC's and 1 was a still born. I still have to tell my mum that I am pregnant. I booked a surprise holiday for her birthday in September and this was before I knew that I was pregnant. Now I am not sure to tell her while we are away or wait until my 12 week scan.

xx

 

[Dutchie]

We're all here to support each other along the journey, it's a great place to talk about your fears and worries with like minded worriers!!!!
Better late than never for us oldies!!!!!!

Trust me I will be on here a lot as questions and also see that everyone else is ok...

 

[Dutchie]

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Whilst this is not my first pregnancy I am also 42. I had my last child when I was 29 and wasn't in the slightest bit worried. This time I worried all the way to about 17 weeks. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage in September last year and this has made it more worrying when i found myself pregnant in March this time but having been on PF for nearly a year now, this is something that is not confined to the older mums and can unfortunately happen to anyone. However this does not mean pregnancy has to be terrifying for us older mums. I arranged a private scan at 9weeks just to make sure all was OK and was over the moon to see a heartbeat which was a big relief. The major turning point for me was getting past the worry over Downs and the other syndromes. After a post I saw on here I arranged to have the Harmony test which is a non-invasive alternative to the CVS/amniocentesis. I appreciate the risks are higher for older mums and needed to know where I stood. Fortunately this came back as low risk for me but I have been really relaxed ever since knowing all is OK. I hope some of the posts above give you some reassurance that it's not as scary as it might feel. I wish you all the best in your pregnancy. Good luck! xxx

Thank you for your message, all the messages that I have received have really helped me and I am so happy that I have some messages, I thought that I was a bit stupid when I was looking at this forum, and then thought to myself well lets just put a a post and see what happens. I am now so happy with the messages that I have received and also the private ones. This really means so much to me. I am sorry to hear about your loss but also congratulations on your new news. My partner has done all the checking on what tests we need and when and he is more clued up than me, all I kept telling him was please will you shut up, he was stressing me out. I didn't want to think about the issues that might happen and maybe that is why I was more scared as he was always saying we need to have this done and we need to have that test done. Poor guy really got it from me !! adding to my stress levels didn't help.

I have to admit that seeing people replying to my message has really lifted my heart and worries, and I really know that I am not on my own in this.

Good luck with your pregnancy and post some scans on here if you want.

xx

 

[QueenA]

Hello Dutchie,

Congratulations!
I am 35, pregnant and if all goes well, this will be my first baby. DH & I have been TTC for almost 4 years. Had a miscarriage once before.
I too am scared & worried but I think that's normal. A lot of pregnant women get worried at the slightest cramp or discomfort. You will worry less by the time your pregnancy is 12 weeks.
Telling your mum is entirely up to you. I am 4 weeks + 5 days gone and I have told my mum already. We are close.

P.S- judging from your dates, I'll suggest that you check out the first trimester forum. You will find threads there on first semester symptoms and make bump buddies. Share experiences and your pregnancy journey.

Enjoy your pregnancy! Xx

 

[beckylou713]

I will be 42 on Saturday and have just found out that I'm pregnant. It has been helpful reading these posts as I'm also feeling a bit anxious. I'm going to see my gp to ask for an early scan - don't think I can wait until 12 weeks!

 

[JJ Mum]

Firstly huge congratulations to you both on something you thought wouldnt happen do i imagine you put it out of your head before now and hence making it an even bigger shock for you, it will take a little time to get your head round but wow what a chance for you to be parents hun xx

Im not a first timer , but am 40 and pregnant

I have three older kids and one little one who needs a freind to grow up with so on last pregnancy

I got a super high risk at 12 week testing last time round and had extra testing to be sure, this tine i got a much lower risk!! But its just a risk, only time will tell with this baby.

Try not to worry, take a day at a time and do chat in trimester one to the lovely ladies who will help put you at ease

Enjoy every moment , 40 weeks will fly by ...

 

[SurpriseBean]

Scared and confused.

I'm 36 and pregnant.... Its a long long story so I'll try and give you the short version...

My husband and I tried for a baby for 10 years (7 cycles of fertility treatment). He became a very big drinker and eventually physically hurt me. I forgave him and stayed. He hurt me again, I tried to forgive him but I couldn't cope and left with my 14yr old son from previous.

I hit rock bottom, the doctors put me on medication and I was so spaced out that I crashed my car. That night I had a few glasses of wine and one thing led to another with a friend (He thought he was unable to have children. He tried for 9yrs with his ex-wife). The result is the pregnancy I thought I always wanted but the whole situation is such a mess.

Please give me some advice, what do I do? I live in a small town... I'm scared....