2nd baby

[sarah120281]

Anyone on here decided to have baby 2 even tho they can't really afford it. I had three losses last year and have bravely decided I want to try again although hubby says we can't really afford it. My job is a job where I need to be there full time I am a manager hubby earns less than me but doesn't want to work part time to look after baby number 2 should it be successful which means the little thing would be in nursery 4days per week. Costing a fortune! Our mums helped out with baby one and she only recently started nursery and will be in school in 2017 but we don't want to ask them again. What would u all do, I have a blood clotting disorder and they said they can treat me now they know when I am pregnant, and they also said the longer I leave it the more risk the condition holds I am 26 now and hubby 35 I don't want a big age gap for kids and don't any to wait to go thru the skint times again I'd just rather carry on skint then come out of it when baby number gets to school x

 

[Princess61]

We are 10 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. We just about manage financially with one so it will be a struggle with another but decided to just go for it. I just think you sort of manage if you know what I mean and cut back on different things. My OH is more sensible than me, I'm a bit more lets just do it and he was worried about money before we started trying but he didn't want money to be the only reason we stopped at one and also he knew how much I wanted another. We will stop at 2 though because any more than that will be seriously pushing it for us. And I know you probably don't want to put on your mums and its best not to count on that if you're not sure but you may even find they want to help look after baby? Good luck and I hope everything works out �� xxx

 

[sarah120281]

Yeah we had another conversation tonight his words were if you can tell me a good way of dealing with it financially then we will, my hubby is more sensible than me he wants a plan in place we find it pretty stressful juggling work and home life with one child, and I am a very tired person so I do find it hard working and driving all over to drop daughter at nursery, I know it'll be harder if I got another baby, hoping I can after three losses last year, but I know when I'm older I'll look back and be like why didn't we just accept struggling for them few years x I've just got to sell it to him now lol x

 

[MrsB2105]

Will you not be entitled to some free childcare hours by the time baby 2 goes to nursery? Also when we had our first we saved everything so we didn't have to buy again ... Didn't work out that way as we are having twins lol but at least we only have to buy 1 of everything again. If you didn't save everything do you object to buying second hand products? Also there is a poster at my antenatal clinic that says on average if you breastfeed you save over £400 a year than if you bottle feed ... By the way I'm a bottle feeder so please don't think I'm being pushy on breast feeding. These are all ideas on saving money . I also know someone who prefers to baby wear (again not my thing but would save you buying a pram). And it would only be a couple of years until you would have no nursery fees again and you would feel loaded x

 

[sarah120281]

Yes I have been on the tax credit calculator today, and I would be entitled to 202 ever four weeks as I'd be paying out 704 a month for childcare for both kids. And the child benefit would increase so it is possible, I have wrote it all out to show hubby see what he says. Hopefully he's in lol do u do ok financially with two, I just worry that'll it'll put strain on us. Xx

 

[MrsB2105]

I still only have one for a few more weeks my husband has done his calculations etc we can afford it but won't have a holiday for a couple of years I imagine or random shopping sprees x

 

[sarah120281]

MrsB sounds like mine except I am the that deals with finances, so I've done them today I am waiting for daughter to go to bed so i set my proposals out lol. My husband wants complete financially stability and I explained to him a lot of families struggle because they have to. We shall see what he says good look with yours lol. If only we could just make a baby with ourselves lol x

 

[MrsB2105]

Haha I know, my logic is that there is never a 'perfect' time to have a baby. But as long as you can provide it with love food and clothes then go for it x

 

[KateK]

I'm usually in the 'there's never a good time' camp but then again i'm not sure i'd like to try for another baby knowing we couldn't afford it.. I fell pregnant with my first unexpectedly at the age of 20 and I was petrified about finances. We both worked but were at the very bottom of our career ladders and my maternity package was abysmal. We managed, just, but had to scrimp everywhere and it was a pretty miserable couple of years in that respect. That said, it's all about what your priorities are.. if you both agree you're happy to do x,y and z to make it possible then bloomin' go for it I hate being a naysayer but I just know how miserable it made us and how much it pushed us apart. As long as you're both 100% on board, i'm sure you'd be able to make your baby incredibly happy with all your love and milk! How did negotiations go yesterday?! xxx

 

[sarah120281]

He's agreed today but said my spending has to stop. Which I understand I do buy willy nilly. So I'd have to cut back as much as possible. Hopefully my health and treatment will allow for a healthy pregnancy this time. If after paying out all bills and nursery you had 700 pound left for food petrol and leisure things would u go for it xx

 

[MrsB2105]

i think I would actually, 700 is plenty if you spend it wisely , I'm glad he has agreed and fingers crossed you get pregnant easily x

 

[sarah120281]

Hopefully, I had no problem last year as I got pregnant as soon as I tried but I don't know if having 3 miscarriages could have damaged me at all. My depo provera runs out 4th August. I have asked the docs to refer me to consultant to get blood thinning medication ready for me xx

 

[MrsB2105]

Aww how come you need blood thinning medication? Fingers crossed you get pregnant fast and that it stays x

 

[Flo1]

We don't live in England, but we managed with a similar amount of money every month for food etc. You can't go out for dinner every week or go shopping whenever you feel like it (and in my case: you should never take your husband when you go buy groceries. He always wants 'the real product' instead of the cheaper version if he sees them, but never tastes the difference if I use it in his meal). If you like those things, you should think about your priorities, do you really want to miss them for a second child? I strongly believe unhappy parents are a bad thing for a baby. But if you don't mind giving up other things, it is possible. You can reuse baby things and clothes for a second child and I'm sure your parents won't mind babysitting if necessary. For food I think 1 extra little mouth to feed makes no difference. I'm throwing food away at the moment so will be glad when we're 4 and will finish all.

 

[Rjt_england]

we are expecting our second and I am the only one working right now so money is tight. TBH, after all bills etc, I don't think we have £700 left and we manage and we don't send ours to nursery yet - if we did, we couldn't afford it. Of course we don't go out dining much and don't do extravagant things BUT we survive and don't go without essentials either

 

[MrsB2105]

I imagine when I go back to work we won't be much better off, I toilet trained my 2 year old so we didn't need 3 lots of nappies, but it will still be 2 lots of nappies and double the formula and extra washing, double nursery fees and the list goes on lol my husband and I started car sharing for work as I work not too far from him, and I also get told off for spending lol. We have been fortunate enough to have kept everything from our son and people have generously given us an extra car seat, Moses basket, bouncer etc and I'm buying a cot from a friend for £25. The only expenses I have had are the new pram, some extra clothes in smaller sizes, my MiL is an amazing knitter so blankets and cardigans have cost us zilch X