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Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by Nonabean, Dec 11, 2011.

  1. Nonabean

    Nonabean Well-Known Member

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    This probably won't make much sense. I just need someone to talk to.
    I'm at my boyfriend's Mum's, so I'm 250 miles away from my own family until tomorrow.
    I hate coming here. For various reasons. It's just super stressful.
    I've been really sore and uncomfortable for most of the day. And my boyfriend's spent most of the day not talking to me. Apparently this is not my fault. It's because he's down, he has depression - but won't take his anti-depressants. And he's just told me he's suicidal. I can't stop crying. I don't want to be this upset, it's not good for Bean. But I'm scared. And I don't have anyone else I can talk to. :( :( :(
     
  2. x_larlybelle_x

    x_larlybelle_x Well-Known Member

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    Oh Hun :hug:

    Don't really know what to say but I hope things start lookin up for u both soon xxxx
     
  3. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

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    he needs a slap, if his child had depression would he let it stop taking its meds or would he insist it did? he should take his meds and think about what hes doing.
    poor you hun, i hope you can talk some sense into him x
     
  4. Nonabean

    Nonabean Well-Known Member

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    I don't know what to do. He doesn't understand why I'm upset. I wish I'd stayed at home and let him come visit his Mum on his own. At least then I'd have had my Mum to look after me.
     
  5. Olive

    Olive Well-Known Member

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    :hug: oh hun. Could you say to his mum or convince him to see GP? Thinking of you. Xx


     
  6. Nonabean

    Nonabean Well-Known Member

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    He's getting tested for Autism so he needs to stay registered at his GP in Stoke, which isn't much good when we live in Central Scotland. His Mum doesn't want to understand it, so she just screams at him. Which doesn't help. He gets on much better when we're at my parents house. I've stopped crying now. Although he's still ignoring me. And thinking bad thoughts. I know he's walked to a bridge before, and climbed onto the railings before he turned around and came home though. So it's proper scary. Because I think he actually would do it.
     
  7. Nonabean

    Nonabean Well-Known Member

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    And now he wants me to give him a bath. At 20 past 11 at night. When we need to travel home tomorrow morning. And he still expects me to do all the packing tonight as well. -_-
     
  8. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    I'd go along with it tonight for the ease, I know it's hard work for you but starting an argument will be even more straining. I think you really need to sit down and talk to him. I think he needs to realise how selfish he is being talking like he is and that he is a very lucky man getting the chance to be a father. I know he's I'll but I think he needs a bump to the head to wake him up into reality again :/. Sorry you are having such a stressful time xxxx
     
  9. TiffanyJaynexo

    TiffanyJaynexo Well-Known Member

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    I've been in this situation before with my boyfriend, he was very depressed and suicidal and didn't leave his house for almost a year. His friends thought he was being forced to stay inside by me but really they had no clue what was going on behind closed doors, they didn't know he was depressed.

    He was always arguing with his mum as well which didn't help, I don't think she understood very well either. He plucked up the courage to go to his doctors and got put on anti-depressants. He's not taking them now because he decided to quit them a few months ago and he's definitely much better now :) It's very hard being the girlfriend to look after them. I myself started to suffer with anxiety because of it and started to get afraid of going out myself but I had to stay strong for him and we pulled through in the end.

    I honestly don't know what to advise you to do, it's good that he's on anti-depressants but if he stops taking them just like that, he can get seriously messed up thoughts, my OH was ill for a few days when he stopped taking his, he had a ringing in his ear constantly which sent him crazy. All I can say to you is that things get better, but it's very hard to overcome what you're going through now so just stay strong and make sure he knows you're there. You should tell him that things will get better if he wants them to, they got so much better for us, we became stronger as a couple.

    Good luck to you and I hope things get better for you both soon. You need to care for each other and be strong.
    I'm always here if you want to chat :) Take care of yourself too, you have a baby to think about! xxx
     
  10. DaisyPurple

    DaisyPurple Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry to read this, I hope you got through the night OK and are now on your way back home, if being at his mums house is causing distress then.I would suggest that you stay away from there for a while, reading between the lines he has issues regarding his family and sometimes however hard this may sound distance is the only way to deal with situations like.that, I wish you both the very best of luck for.the future, PS he needs to understand that stopping medication has to be done gradually and not abruptly because it can.cause more problems than.you think xx
     
  11. redbear

    redbear Well-Known Member

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    Im sorry if this is harsh..... but i have been depressed before so know how hard it is but i went to the doctor and asked for help.
    He is still an adult with a brain and should know that he can't just stop his medication like that.
    If he is going to do something stupid tell his family. Don't hide it because then if he does you would feel bad.
    But honestly i think he is acting on it, he wants you to bath him.... Because he is depressed? Sorry but if he is that neady he can't bath himself what is he going to do when you have a baby to look after?
    I know i sound hartless but you have yourself to worry about and your baby without your boyfriends making things worse by stopping his medication. Tell him there is nothing you can do he needs a doctor and if he refuses to do that then your not running around worrying about him. xx
     
  12. Lulabell

    Lulabell Well-Known Member

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    It sounds like he needs counselling hun. I really hope things improve soon! This is really unfair on you as once baby arrives, the baby will need all your attention.xx
     
  13. BabyBrain

    BabyBrain Well-Known Member

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    Its very easy for everyone to have an opinion without necessarily being in the situation but if he is so low that he cannot even bathe himself then he needs to be in hospital, not expecting his pregnant partner to do it for him. You need to think of you and the baby sweetheart, if he is refusing his meds then he needs supervised medical intervention, he needs trained people to get him through this very low time.

    This needs to be sorted for all your sakes. Hope it works out very soon for you xxxxxxxxx
     
  14. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

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    i may be way off course here but with the wanting you to bathe him and look after him like that do you think maybe its transferrence? like the impending birth of your baby is making him jealous and attention seeking. its very rare that anyone seriously considering suicide will tell anyone before hand, those ppl arent usually actually gonna do it theyre just looking for attention/help.

    if this kind of behaviour continues maybe he needs to go for counselling or even be sectioned for his and your good?
     

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