22 weeks and totally exhausted

[Aries29]

Well I'm now 22 weeks and enjoying my pregnancy for the most part .

I'm always exhausted though , when I'm in work I'm fine but on my days off I'm so tired - I just want to curl up on the sofa and take cat naps.

I have a 10 year old boy , a finance and a 13 yr old step daughter .

I just feel like I'm constant cooking , cleaning washing pots , washing clothes and feeding them all.

I'm just so exhausted I could cry , and my fiancé thinks that I shouldn't be so tired ,,
I work and commute to work so work a total of 44 hours a week as a nurse.

He hasn't taken me out for 3 months on a date - even to the cinema or summit . When I asked him the other day to take me out he said " why?" When i said well we haven't been out as a couple for a while he just said " so!"

I could have slapped him . He's going to Australia with family for 4 weeks in 4 days too

Am I being stupid ??? To be annoyed at him

 

[Slb24]

Hey. Have u spoke to the midwife/gp?

You could be anaemic. Might be worth getting checked over.

In regards to your fiancé it wouldn't bother me. Me and my partner haven't been on a date/meal alone etc since before our daughter was born. She's just turned 2. I prefer family time, and she's never slept out etc. Maybe he does to. It might be worth talking to him.

Rather than date night why don't you have a night in? Non alcoholic wine/beer for you, normal for him. Order a take awake and cuddle up on the sofa watching a film?

Xx

 

[KateK]

I understand where you're coming from - for me I wouldn't be upset about not being taken out and wined and dined, it'd be the complete ambivalence and lack of concern for my happiness. It also sounds like you're bearing the brunt of the household chores (which is always the way in our house) and I completely get how overwhelming and relentless it can feel.. Bless you, I know it's tough, especially when you're pregnant. I unfortunately have a man who believes that once his work day is done it's feet up and time for himself, even when i've also been working all day and yet my day is nowhere near finished.. I think women will always have these extra responsibilities in some households. All I know is that I would never raise a son that way.. Hope you're feeling better soon Book a lovely long pregnancy massage for whilst he's away!! xx

 

[Aries29]

A massage is a good idea, and at least if he's away I'll get a break for 4 weeks . It's him and his daughter going so it'll just be and my son left here. I spend my evenings curled up in the sofa watching a film on my own because he's too busy !

Occasional times I'll go to my sisters so at least I'm not alone but it's not the same as spending time with your man. Guess I'm just going to miss him and thought it would be nice to actually spend time together before he disappear for a month.

 

[MrsB2105]

Men can be quite oblivious sometimes can't they. I'm rather lucky in a way - to most part - my husband has been wearing himself down doing day and decorating, he hasn't had a break from it since April. Yet if I go to do something helpful he tells me to go sit down and rest. Then he ruins that by not washing the pots or leaving his dirty underwear 5cm away from the laundry basket ... And doesn't see the problem lol.
We also don't tend to have date nights, we do manage the occasional one but we prefer sitting in with a takeaway.
I agree with Kate on the pregnancy massage though, I have had a couple and they relax me so much, I even found a new massage therapist who I will be going back to post pregnancy because she was so good. Highly recommend you getting one.
Also while he is away make sure you do some things that you enjoy and take care of yourself, a month is a long time especially in pregnancy ... He might think differently when he returns and your tummy has doubled in size, and he sees what he has missed.
Also you could play him at his own game and just act like you are not bothered about things he wants and see what impact that leaves on him x

 

[Aries29]

UPDATE

well I've seen the midwife and she gave me some advice- she was not happy I'm so exhausted and not eating enough- she asked what I have been eating etc as I have keytones in my urine ( because my body is burning its own fat )

My fella is going away tomorrow and he still hasn't found any time to spend with me . But he manage to find 8 hours to spend at his mates house yesterday evening 6pm-2am !!!

I don't know , I guess I'm just worried as he's going away for 4 weeks and he hasn't wen got time to sit in front of the t with me . He's a typical man and often doesn't get how I feel. I reckon he will feel different ice he's had a 4 week break from work etc . ... Watch this space .....

 

[Aries29]

I have a water infection too so probably why I'm being a bit arsey lol .

 

[MrsB2105]

Fingers crossed he realises what a bum he is being while he is away, try and look after yourself though x

 

[Aries29]

I highly doubt he will if I'm honest but maybe , just maybe he'll miss me

 

[MrsB2105]

Haha hopefully he will x

 

[mummywanabe]

Hi Aries no you're not stupid I'm totally drained and almost 22 weeks myself, I also work as a nurse in a trauma unit and have a 3 year old son and still vomiting every day, I feel like I rarely get any proper time out at home, I asked my husband if it would be OK if I lay down for half an hour he didn't say no but pulled a face which basically said don't leave me alone with our son I'm tired too, they just don't understand how much being pregnant is physically draining, on top of a demanding job and home life. Come to think of it after I'd had my son I had to stay in hospital for 3 days meaning I looked after our newborn night and day alone, so I figured due to me having been in labour, and 3 days of no sleep already under my belt he'd maybe let me get a decent night sleep but no when it was his turn to feed him he woke me up too and made me get up with him I know it was down to nerves but it was new for me too. I've never mentioned how much it annoyed me

 

[Aries29]

It's not just me then, I wish men just understood pregnancy and women better . They can be so self centered without even realizing it :-/

I'm going to book some massages and spa days to keep me occupied while he's away

 

[Victoria N]

Why on earth men often don't want to realize that to be pregnant, to be a mum is hard...?! He sould be more attentive to you, I suppose. Just show him what women feel and through what we must pass during our pregnancy. For example show him the article "6 months pregnant" on MotherHow. There is a good explanation of everything we cope with. Take care of yourself and good luck!