So we were up and down since March when I found myself pregnant, I was shocked and scared but then he said to me he loves me so much and our love is so strong enough to be parents and no matter what my decision he will stand by me and deal everything with me. Then after I went to my first scan and saw the little heart beat I immediately attached to our baby, he seems happy and excited at that time. But then he will suddenly looked super upset or get mad at me for no reason or some little things and told me to kill our baby and very soon he will regret and said sorry and said thanks to me about didnt go for abortion. Tough 3 months... 5 June Tuesday night he was still touching my tummy talking to baby, Wednesday afternoon he was still telling me he loves me and misses me cant wait to spend the weekend with me. few hours after he just totally changed and disappeared and not picking up my calls or reply any message and day after he sent me a text told me he hates to admit that he has depression and he want me to leave him alone for the time being and he said he needs to fix it by himself and focus on himself. Its ok I understand (because this is not the first time, he has been on emotions rollarcoaster for 3 months already since I found out I was pregnant on first March), I replied him I understand and thanks for letting me know he is ok but then immediately what I have got is the crazy blaming form him said that its me made him depressed because of me insist to keep baby against his wishes and because we have only met for 8 months etc, and said to me I totally ruined his life and said that I am a cxxt and slux and all those crazy horrible insulted AGAIN. We were still ok for the last few days why suddenly like this again? Its been 4 months already... I thought we can fix it why would he suddenly hate me so much again? He said to me he doesnt think he love me at all and all I want is his money,(whatttt???) he said to me he doesnt think I love him at all because I want to keep our baby, he said to me he must be blind for the past 8 months to be with such a piece of shit like me. Am I really just a piece of shit to him? I cant forget all the great time we have had and everything we have been through, I dont wanna give up on him and I wont give up on us. I went to his place waited for him on 7 June night, he looked at me with that resentful face and all the spiteful words hurts me alot. He said he only treated me as a sex toy for the last few days and dont even love me at all because I am just a piece of shit and a sex toy ready for anyone whenever people's wants. He said he doesnt want a girlfriend like this and he would never respect me but I never cheated on him and I will never... I am having our baby and I love him and just wanna be end up with him. I really wont cheat on him at all I am not his ex gf not every girl are the same.. She did that doesn't mean I would!! Can he please understand that?? :'( That was too crazy. Please tell me this is just because he is suffering something I dont understand inside him?? Seems like the only thing he want right now is kick me out of his life and find another girl and only think that I dont worth his love and I am just a cxxt and @#++ that who doesnt deserved him. Those emotion abused and insulted are really rude and I can't take it at all. But I have been taking them for 3 months. At first he will still feels sorry and really regret. ANd came back told me he would never being that rude again and he was just having mixed emotions and he took it all on me. And I will forgive him immediately because I really just want us to be good. Since May, he wont feels sorry anymore. Because he hacked into my email and found all my conversation with others before I met him, I was single for a long time before I met him, so I was kinda seeing 3-4 guys one by one since 2007, I dont really believe in relationship at that time because I was too hurt in my pervious relationship. Until I met him, I want to trust him and love him and I truly believe in him. I know he have done something ONS as well before but I dont care and I know everyone has their past. The main point is what we are today with the one we love now. But he cant understand. He said he think I was a playgirl before and I am just a SlxT and not worth his love at all etc. No matter how many times I explained to him that was my past and I was single and I was seeing people one by one I didnt do anything too crazy. He said I am a SLXT, and he said he cant let me be the mum of his child. And he was blind o be with me etc... It was me keep going back to him everytime after he insulted me but he will held me tight and told me how much he doesnt wanna lose me and how much he loves me and we will be great parents for our baby. But then soon like 2-3 days he will be out of control again. I thought he was just too stressed of our unborn baby. He even kept telling me to get an abortion. Everything was really hurt but I still hoping that we will be great. Am I too stupid? He said its me forced him to be a father and wanna trapped him because I was looking for boss, he said I am keeping baby is because I wanna steal money from him and trap him and I dont love him at all.... why cant he understand it is because I love him and even tho baby is an accident I am still grateful because he is the guy I want to be with, and before baby, we were the sweetest couple ever. why would he suddenly changed completely? I am at my mum's now. He went completely crazy, actually he looked calm just became a person I don't even know and the way he looked at me like he see me as nothing or even shxt, well he said I am just a piece of shxt on the floor etc on 7 June Friday night and said all those unbelievable spiteful things so I just left his house and went back to my mums. But all my ID card and phone and everything was at his house. So sad is - since I left and he know that I have no money at all and no ID no credit card but he didn't even call any of my friends ask for me or didn't even send an email at all. Totally don't care.... Then week after I called him and left him voice message. He replied me on skype day after and said he still got all my phone and handbags. Then I said you actually got my life at your house (because I was supposed to move in with him in July and he always asked me to), then he said he had plenty of time to think about us that week and he is 100% sure he doesnt love me anymore and never ever would. He said he will never forgive me ever ever by brining this to him and he hates me so much because he doesnt wanna be a father and I forced him to and insist to keep our baby against his wishes and his life is ending because of me. ( I still have all our conversation of him talking how much he loves me and will be great daddy for his big baby - me, and little baby of us and how grateful he is) He said he found out what kind of girl I am and I am just a girl with no values no morals and would be ok to sleep with any guy in the world. I am not mad about what he said because those are not truth but I am so heartbroken because how can he being this horrible to me? He said he didnt and wont respect me for one bit and he will go find someone so much better than me. I keep trying to explain to him I am not like how he think. Why he would suddenly think me to this bad?????? When we were in love he always told me how lucky he is to have me in his life and told me how great I am and want to be with me forever and never let go... I still cant believe that. He was super loving and caring and was the guy who love me the most before!!! ANyways.. I got back all of my stuffs last Wednesday night and we talked a little bit. He said the same - he will never forgive me etc etc etc and he said he wasn't trying to be mean or hurtful but just telling me the truth that this is ME made us like this now because I insist to keep baby. He kept asking me what my plan is and he will be responsible for some baby cost even tho he hates this and he never want this child (for me I was thinking if he ever wanna do this why did he needs to keep adding hurtful words to it? like he hates and would never like this child), he said he is not happy about this but as a man he will give me enough money for baby, I refused and said I dont need this if he is not doing this from his heart but just acting he is being a man while what he was doing is not a man at all. He packed all of my stuffs for me and even our stuffs and the gift my mum gave him, EVERYTHING. Then he carried them to a taxi and gave me a hug said - see you later. Thats it. After I got home he sent me a text asked me did I managed to get someone to help me to move those 3 huge bags because I was pregnant and shouldnt have lift any weight. I repiled him and said to him if leaving me is what would make him happy I will do for him because I want him to be happy even tho I really dont wanna give up on us and I still love him.. Then I found that he had CHECKED my phone AGAIN during that week I left my phone and wallet at his. Sigh.... Since then he never call or text or anything. I still love him and miss him and couldnt believe it because he was super polite to everyone and super loving and caring and love my family, how can someone changed that quick???? Is my past really an issue made him not love me anymore? Or this is just an excuse for him to feel better to dump me? Anyone experiences same saturation? Any advice or comment are appreciated.