21, single, 6 weeks and not sure what to do..

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by Kalv318, Jan 11, 2016.

  1. Kalv318

    Kalv318 New Member

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    Hey girls, I'm new to this group and I just wanted to see if anyone had some advice or uplifting words. Here's my story.I'm 21, 22 in march. I'm 6 weeks pregnant, found out on new years eve! I've honestly been going back and fourth on if I should even go through with this pregnancy or not. I told the father I might be pregnant the day before I found out and he said he would be here for me. I found out and told him and he never responded and I haven't heard from him since. I've hitched him out and told him I wasn't going to have it but now I'm having second thoughts. I had an accidental pregnancy a year ago and it ended in a miscarriage but I had told my parents and at first my mom said she would support me and then the next day she told me to get an abortion and drug me to a clinic but, unknown to me, the baby had already died. So, I'm scared my parents won't be supportive of me doing the while single mom thing or be supportive at all. And I know I should tell the dad but I know my mom will try to talk me out of telling him. He is a ****ty person but I still believe he has the right to know. Help!!! I work full time and rent a house with a roommate and pay for all my bills.
     
  2. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    Hey :)
    It sounds like you're in a good place financially and you have your house with your roomate. I would definitely tell the father, your mum or anyone else doesn't have any right to stop you from telling him.
    If you're six weeks you still have time to think about what to do, don't rush into any decisions. It's your body and your baby and ultimately the the decision (and consequences of that decision) is yours - not your mums and if my mom forced me to a clinic I wouldn't speak to her again.

    I think you should research financial help you can get as well as speaking to your roommate because they might have to make changes/adapt as well xx
     
    #2 Lou1103, Jan 11, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2016
  3. Phoenix85

    Phoenix85 Well-Known Member

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    Hi. Could you look for support groups in your area? Most areas have extra support for teen and young mums, and/or single parents, so it's worth looking into.

    I was a young mum, 18 & 21 respectively, but I was with their dad.

    I'm now single at 30 and pregnant. The dad (not my older kids' dad) knows and said he'd be involved, but then also didn't get back in touch. I only told him at 9 weeks though, mostly because I was also concerned about miscarriage and didn't want to say anything early on and then miscarry (and have him think I'd made it up).

    Well I messaged him today to ask what was going on and he actually did reply and apologised for not being in touch, but said he'd had family problems over Christmas and just not had chance to get his head around the pregnancy with everything going on with his family issues.

    I ended up feeling sorry for him, which is stupid, I'm the one that's pregnant... he thinks it's hard for him to get used to it.... LOL
    I am also aware my mum is not overly happy about my situation either, and my dad only found out at the weekend and I don't even know how he took it, lol!!

    Anyway, I agree with Lou, thebaby's dad deserves to know and to be kept in the know regarding the pregnancy.
    If not for his sake, then for your baby's.
    If you do keep it, which it sounds like you want to, you need to be able to say you gave him every opportunity to be involved & be a good dad.

    In my situation, it's not really an issue to me whether he's involved or not; I know I'll be doing everything for this baby, even if he were to be involved, I'm still going to be doing more or less everything on my own, and I'm fine with that. But my baby deserves to know their dad. And if he decides not to be around or turns out to be a deadbeat, that's on him. I'm not going to be the one to keep my baby from their dad, and for their sake I hope he'll step up and be there for his child.
     
  4. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    That's so true pheonix, you can know you gave him every opportunity xx
     
  5. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    It's up to you what you do but I think you should tell the dad he has the right to know. At 22 I had an abortion I was with the dad but I was unhappy and I didn't feel ready. It's a massive life changer. I'm now 27 and married 6 months and 18 weeks pregnant and couldn't be happier. I'm now ready for the changes and ready to settle down and be a family. When I was 22 I was still going out and wanted to be young and free. It's up to you what you decide but if you decided abortion you will need to act fast as they can take awhile to organise.
    Best of luck I'm sure you will do what's right for you. I would just add I wouldn't tell anyone until you had made a decision coz they may change your mind. You need to make sure you do what you want and be strong. Don't let people push you towards kne or the other x
     
  6. Belvi

    Belvi Member

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    Only you can make decisions for yourself and just decide however you feel in your heart. But the father has to know, talk to him...
     

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