21 month old still not sleeping. Weaning off breast

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by mrsmnk101, Aug 28, 2019.

  1. mrsmnk101

    mrsmnk101 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2017
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    0
    The last time i i posted on her my son was 9 months old. And it's always been about the same issue. He wont sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. Im absolutely exhausted daily from him waking me up every hour or two at night. Still wanting milk to help him get back off. Hes 21 months old in a few days and ive had enough. Some days hes really clingy and wants breastfeeding alot. Like four times in one hour. I am trying to get him to wean off it. Ive tried distracting him. It works for a while but then he starts crying again and tugging at my clothes. Ive tried follow on milk and regular cows milk but it makes him gip. Some days he will go hours without wanting milk depending on his mood. Night time is hurrendous i try give him a dummy which hes used them since a baby but now he just chucks it away and screams till i let him have milk. Im starting to refuse it and he eventually settles with the dummy . But then hes hes back awake again an hour later. Same cycle crying for the milk. Because im so tired i just end up feeding him. And also he wont sleep in his cot. He cries till i take him out. Ive tried letting him cry and coming in every 5 mins but he has started crying until he holds his breath and passes out falling backwards or forwards so i need to watch him. My other child also used to do this and so did i as a child. I really dont know what to do anymore. I know what i should do but i just cant do it as im too tired to follow through
     
  2. Kitana

    Kitana Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2016
    Messages:
    2,469
    Likes Received:
    494
    Oh hun... You must be exhausted beyond anything.
    When a 21 month old really wants something, they will try to get it by all means, like holding their breath in your case to be able to sleep with you, climbing on you, pulling your clothes when he wants the boob...
    I have noticed my DD being very stubborn at times, so stubborn sometimes she will even stay in the corner after being naughty, and refuse to leave. But like with all children, she does eventually give up.

    I think your son is trying to see how far he can get. Can you add some pillows to cushion his fall in his bed before you put him to bed in case he tries to hold his breath again? You could remove them after he falls asleep. I would try to stick to my guns and let him cry. If he gets too worked up after 5 minutes, but him back down. Repeat it a 100 times if you have to, until he understands that when he's in his bed, he has to sleep. Don't give up because then he will know that you do have a limit and that he will eventually win.
    As for the milk, I'm sorry if this sounds like a stupid question, but does he eat enough during the day? He seems to be hungry a lot.x
     
  3. Helen7788

    Helen7788 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2019
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    I can't even imagine how exhausted you are... Do you still want to breastfeed your son? Maybe it is better to stop, so you would have more time for rest, and maybe your boy would start sleeping better. By the way, have you asked a doctor?
     
  4. Summerwine

    Summerwine Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2017
    Messages:
    369
    Likes Received:
    75
    I managed to wean my little boy off night feeds by offering only water at night time. We had a horrendous few nights where he just cried and cried (i would stay with him and try and put him down every half hour or so) and he gradually started sleeping longer periods and no longer wakes at night now. I did a lot of research before doing that and the majority of what I read backed up there being no reason for a child over 1 to need milk at night, hence the straight swap to water.
     
  5. mrsmnk101

    mrsmnk101 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2017
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am wanting to wean him off. But he seems to be clung on more than ever before. He eats all his meals and snacks. The problem is he doesnt know how to self sooth. So hes using the breast to get back to sleep, as its all hes ever known. Today hes been extra clingy and just wants milk on and off all day long. His communication skills arent fully developed yet but obviously knows what No means.But Im not sure he will understand being told he has to stay in the cot and go to sleep. I havent spoke to any doctors but i did tell the health visitors when he was under 1 year old nothings changed though. Its been 2 years since ive slept. I know the milk isnt isnt needed anymore, but its all he knows for comfort and feeling secure. i would have moved him into his own room but i have two other older boys sharing the next room. Hes also a very light sleeper. Even when i turn over in bed he wakes up, hes always been that way.
     
  6. Kitana

    Kitana Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2016
    Messages:
    2,469
    Likes Received:
    494
    I really think you need help, sleep is such an important part of recovery, not only physically but mentally as well. My DD also sometimes throws the dummy in rage when she doesn't want to go to bed but I leave it in her bed and eventually she will put it back in her mouth to sleep. I think it's time to let him go to sleep in his cot without hanging on your boob. He will cry a lot in the beginning since he has always gotten what he wanted but stay strong. It's very stressful but for your own health, try to stay away and ask someone else to put him back down.
    Does your OH help you in any way? You should ask for help because sleeplessness can lead to depression hun.
    I really feel for you. My DD awoke every 2 hours in the 8 first weeks of her life since she was allergic to cow's milk protein. It was hell. I can't even imagine waking up relentlessly every 2 hours for almost 2 years...
    Take care of yourself because a sick mummy can't take care of her children either.x
     
  7. mrsmnk101

    mrsmnk101 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2017
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    0
    My husband has slept in a different room since my son was born. He has to get up for work in a morning. He has said a few times he will sleep with my son on a weekend but still hasnt. It does get me down on somedays more than others and its no fun being tired and yawning all day long but ive idapted to it now. I dont know what its like to sleep anymore. The health visitors have always been abit useless. Giving me advice but i already know what needs implementing. I think you are right someone physically needs to step in. I feel its the only way.
     
  8. MoominGirl

    MoominGirl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2016
    Messages:
    2,409
    Likes Received:
    167
    I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds horrendous.

    My LO is 9 months and breastfed. We also have a bit of a feed to sleep habit that I know needs addressing. Can you get your LO to sleep by any other method? In our case feeding is generally the most effective but he will happily be walked to sleep in the pushchair or in a sling if he's tired. My hubby does the sling now rather than me and it has turned out to be a good way for my husband to settle him rather than me. None of this helps overnight but I'm just wondering if working on things in the day first would be a better approach as you're maybe comparatively less stressed than overnight?

    I know I've tolerated a lot of our bad habits longer than I should but the only reason is because I do manage to get reasonable stretches of sleep overnight on average and I figured I can't have it all but there's no way I could be doing 2 hourly wakes every single night for nearly 2 years.

    I do think you should be getting more support from your husband as sleep is so important for your physical and mental health. Even if he can't help overnight (mine generally doesn't as we don't feel it's the best use of resources, he would be willing), could he give you an early night or a long lie at the weekend?
     
    Kitana likes this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice