2 babies under 3 - how difficult is it?

[tinselcat]

Hi,

I'm just getting my life back on track after baby #1 who is 19 months old.

I am considering TTC again which could potentially lead to a newborn + a 2 & half y/o.

I am also a single mummy (would be doing this IVF with donor sperm) so am finding everything quite exhausting already (no such thing as a break - unless you count work/commuting as a break!) so want to get my head round whether it is do-able.

At 38 & now down to low fertility, time is not on my side, hence I'm considering this after a conversation with an embryologist.

Any thoughts/advice from mummies who are used to looking after 2 little ones appreciated!

xx

 

[Tigger87]

My first is 3 next month, and I've got an almost 12 week old. The baby has been absolutely zero bother. My toddler has gone through a pretty rough stage with tantrums etc that he's just coming out of, because of the arrival of his sister. He's always been pretty highly strung and I'm not sure if he'd have hit this stage anyway - with or without her.

Basically I think if you can cope with 1 - do it!! Xx

 

[babybee]

I had 2 under 2 and ill be honest the first 6 months were pretty hellish but after the youngest became mobile and more content and slept better, life became easier. Now im expecting no.3 around my eldest's 4th bday and my youngest will be 2. Im sort of dreading how tough it'll be as its currently really lovely. So eventually having 2 young babies becomes just as 'easy' as having one. Sometimes perhaps slightly easier as theyre very good at entertaining each other.

 

[Becky1]

Second time round and the newborn bit is much easier! Ds2 was mostly stuck in a sling or on my boob! The toddler bit is the challenge!! I'm not sure I'd cope on my own, well saying that I'm not sure I'd cope without my parents and the in laws...! xxx

 

[BunnyN]

We had two under two and it has been hard work but honestly not as bad as I expected. I do get a lot of help from OH though. I am pregnant again and this pregnancy I was very bad with HG in tri 1 so OH had to do everything for me and the kids for 6 weeks.

 

[Rose83]

I have a 20 month old and a 5 month old and it's really not been that bad. As someone else said my newborn was no trouble and is a lot less needy than my first born probably because I had to leave him in his bouncy chair or cot while I made sure his mental sister wasn't wrecking the house. It's definitely her that's harder work. The hardest but was probably sitting breast feeding my little boy and my little girl being too young to understand why mummy suddenly couldn't just drop everything for her x

 

[IheartDex]

I'm going to buck the trend. Having 2 has been a complete nightmare for me. My son is 3 at the end of August. My baby is 13 weeks. They're both terrible. She's been the most high needs baby I've ever met. She won't be put down, feeds constantly and still cries all the time. My son is awful with tantrums and testing me constantly. It's exhausting. Sleep just isn't an issue because he still wakes up every night and she is inconsistent - anything from no wake up to 4! You just don't know what you're going to get so it really doesn't matter how hard or not it's going to be; you'll survive! You just need to know it's definitely what you want. I've questioned our decision everyday since number 2 came along

Good luck with whatever you do :* xxx

 

[Maud]

We have a 29 month old and a 2 month old. We wanted ours close together (I wanted two under 2, but it wasn't to be) but were worried how we would cope as our first was very high needs as a baby. We've been very lucky as our second is a very chilled out, easy baby; so it's been far easier than we had expected. Plus you do know what you are doing more the second time so stress out less at the little things. There are two of us though, and I only have to deal with both by myself 2 days a week (eldest is in nursery part-time). I do think having a good support network would be important if you are on your own, to ensure you get a break from it all (I am so pleased my older one still has a good length afternoon nap!).

 

[kumber]

Both of mine are challenging boys, ds1 cannot talk so tons of frustration and ds2 had horrific redlux, boobed constantly, never slept, cried and cried. It's only now getting easier and ds2 is almost 1. Two under 2 is hard

 

[beckyboo1]

I'd say that's a good age gap. DS1 was 2 yrs 9months when DS2 was born

Although at the time he was non verbal (he had verbal dyspraxia) he understood that there was a new baby and was already out of nappies etc so his demands were a lot less on me

Also second time round I def found it easier, probably because I wasn't flapping about whether I was doing something right or wrong, we just got on with it.

DS1 also started nursery when DS2 was 6 months old so that gave me a break (I'm a SAHM)

 

[Rose83]

I forgot that - my second does have horrendous reflux so I've spent the last five months covered in sick a lot of the time but as long as you don't mind not having the time to worry about such things you'll be fine! We've always planned to have 4 but felt we couldn't have number 3 as quickly as we had number 2 and are planning on starting ttc no3 when number 2 is almost 2. I'll definitely be sticking to that as it means number 1 will be in nursery some of the time and I will be able to manage them all but it doesn't stop me already being broody again! X

 

[Glitter2707]

Hi tinsel - my eldest was 19 months when DD2 was born. I found it really, really tough for about 10 weeks. Without my mum & my husband I would really have struggled. I don't cope well without sleep & was at the stage where I would scream at her when she wouldn't stop crying at night and then feel terrible about myself. DD2 was a very different baby to DD1 and very 'needy' - I had to put her down screaming while I got my toddlers dinner etc. However, she turned a corner around 10 weeks & is now a total dream & far easier to deal with than DD1s toddler tantrums :-D x

 

[purpleslurple]

I have two boys - 2years 7 months and 11 weeks - it's hard work! Our toddler has been more testing than the baby though....pays lots of attention to the baby and seems happy to have a brother but is constantly pushing the boundaries. Could just be 'terrible twos' though and may have happened anyway.

Hard work, yes, would I change it? No! I love having my two little boys! xx

 

[MrsB2105]

I still only have one until Tuesday ... My little boy is 2 and a half, which myself and hubby thought was a really good age gap, there is 18months between myself and my brother and 3 years between him and his brother, and both of our sibling relationships were great. Come Tuesday I will have 3 boy under the age of 3 as I'm having twins ... I expect it to be a challenge but it will be doable

I think if you stuck to routine and involved your older child in as much as you could, I think you will be ok x

 

[Pumpkin9]

I had my little girl (who is now 6 months) when my son was 2. Although it's a lovely age gap and my son is very loving towards his sister, I'm not going to lie in saying the first year of her life has so far been hard work. There are so many firsts I am still experiencing with both of them and although my son can feed himself etc etc, he still required my constant attention and help as he is a two year old after all.

I am currently going through weaning and potty training at the same time and it's difficult - very rewarding and I love seeing everything that they are getting excited about and the bond they are developing, but some nights I'm glad for bedtime!

 

[Lols82]

I have 8 month old twins, it's hard, but we manage, everything gets done and my boys are in a good routine