It's my 35th birthday today! but it is also the due date of the first baby I lost! I put a big happy birthday banner with balloons up as it is also the 3rd birthday of one of the little boys we look after - but everytime i see it I want to cry. DH kissed me this morning to say happy birthday and I started crying. Can't face opening my cards and pressies (keep thinking i should be opening baby stuff and congrats on the birth cards instead!) how to get through the day - i have to put on my pretend happy face for all the parents arriving soon.